Monday Musings, Mistakes, and Threats of Litigation

Today is a rainy day here. I have a sick kid home from school, a sick husband home from work, a fully-potty-trained toddler running around, and I'm feeling kind of blah. It's the kind of day where I want to just curl up and eat grilled cheese (which I can't) and drink Dr. Pepper (which I can't) and watch raunchy-humored, R-rated movies by myself (which I can't).

I've just started a month-long dietary clean-up. "Just" as in this morning. I'm already bummed out. Fortunately, I've done this program a couple of times in the past and know that the break-in period is a little less than a week...so I'm pretty sure I can tough it out. But at the moment, grilled cheese sounds so super appealing. Or tuna casserole. Sadly, dairy is on the wrong side of the list :(  So I'll content myself with brown rice and veggies and fruit and water...

Here's the awesome news...

I ran 7 hilly miles on Sunday! I have the best running partner in the whole world. We mesh :) We stopped to stretch every couple of miles, and we ran easy. It was divine. My calves seem mostly adjusted to the forefoot/midfoot strike deal, and the only part of my body that complained was my iliopsoas. Anyway, I'm pretty sure that's the main pain-maker. Of course, I'm also convinced I have ankylosing spondylitis... but I could be mistaken.

Speaking of being mistaken...here's a mistake I always make. And I now know I'm not the only one who makes this mistake... apparently Tony Stewart does, too.

       

This issue came up the other day when I saw RoseRunner's awesome tongue-to-nose trick. Does anyone else make this mistake?  Can anyone else do that trick? I've always wanted to, but my nose is too long.

I know that litigious, bald, music-industry-working, triathletes would never make this mistake, and I would surmise that my difficulty making this differentiation will be used against me in a court of law should "Dude vs. XL" ever actually go to court.

For those of you who are in the dark on this one, I've received a 'cease and desist' order regarding my XLBands...click the links to see the products in question. What I find most unfortunate is that I am not selling XLBands...in fact, my video shows you how to make them for free...

I am spreading knowledge to the masses...much like Johannes Gutenberg.

Furthermore, elitist Dudeband™ wearers must follow all sorts of crazy rules. XLBands have no such requirements, pretentiousnesses, or bullsh*t attached to their usage. While you may think this lessens the specialness of the item, au contraire. It makes a useful and life-changing item accessible to the world.

Like socks.

And much like socks, having a lawyer tell me to stop spreading the word about XLBands because the Dudeband™ dude is annoyed/jealous/greedy is akin to telling a knitter that she must 'cease and desist' knitting socks for her friends and family because the inventor of socks says so.

Dude...I am not profiting from the XLBand...the world is benefitting. Back off.

Or maybe buddy up.

My naïveté...

...has just bitten me in the ass...

hard.

I mentioned a few months ago that Pleasantville really isn't so pleasant anymore. Now the bloom is definitely off the rose. The gilded lily is thoroughly tarnished. And I am just an idiot, and it cost my family dearly.

The pleasant façade of Pleasantville

Last night, the burglars came calling.

Yes, we live in a very crime-ridden city...but we have The Gate. *she said pleadingly and with a whimper*  The Gate is supposed to keep the unwanted elements out of our little community. The Gate is supposed to make it safe for me to run at night and for my kids to ride their bikes in the street. The Gate is supposed to protect us from unsavories...like burglars.

This false sense of security has led me to do very naïve things... leave my house and car doors unlocked, for example. I've gone off to pick the kids up from school or go grocery shopping without closing the garage doors on more than one occasion. As with many homes, there is direct access to the house interior via the garage...and at our house, there's a ton of crap in the garage...

What it looks like from the street.

This 'path' is currently totally obstructed and has been for months.

Seriously, how could you find anything of value in this mess?

Last night I failed to lock my car doors. While the neighborhood was sleeping, someone went into my car and 'ransacked' it, found the parking change stash and the garage door opener. They opened the garage door and helped themselves to my photographer husband's equipment. He is devastated. And I feel like an idiot.

It could have been worse. They could have hurt us. Thankfully, all they took were replaceable items. But ...and if you have ever been broken into or robbed or the like, you know what I mean... we are left with a sense of having been violated...trespassed upon...and it feels awful.

You can bet I've learned my lesson insofar as locking doors. And on the off chance those wacko Kirby guys had anything to do with it, I'll be sending any and all solicitors packing from the compound with threats of calling the police.

I'm probably still going to run and bike at night though.