Monday Musings, Mistakes, and Threats of Litigation

Today is a rainy day here. I have a sick kid home from school, a sick husband home from work, a fully-potty-trained toddler running around, and I'm feeling kind of blah. It's the kind of day where I want to just curl up and eat grilled cheese (which I can't) and drink Dr. Pepper (which I can't) and watch raunchy-humored, R-rated movies by myself (which I can't).

I've just started a month-long dietary clean-up. "Just" as in this morning. I'm already bummed out. Fortunately, I've done this program a couple of times in the past and know that the break-in period is a little less than a week...so I'm pretty sure I can tough it out. But at the moment, grilled cheese sounds so super appealing. Or tuna casserole. Sadly, dairy is on the wrong side of the list :(  So I'll content myself with brown rice and veggies and fruit and water...

Here's the awesome news...

I ran 7 hilly miles on Sunday! I have the best running partner in the whole world. We mesh :) We stopped to stretch every couple of miles, and we ran easy. It was divine. My calves seem mostly adjusted to the forefoot/midfoot strike deal, and the only part of my body that complained was my iliopsoas. Anyway, I'm pretty sure that's the main pain-maker. Of course, I'm also convinced I have ankylosing spondylitis... but I could be mistaken.

Speaking of being mistaken...here's a mistake I always make. And I now know I'm not the only one who makes this mistake... apparently Tony Stewart does, too.

       

This issue came up the other day when I saw RoseRunner's awesome tongue-to-nose trick. Does anyone else make this mistake?  Can anyone else do that trick? I've always wanted to, but my nose is too long.

I know that litigious, bald, music-industry-working, triathletes would never make this mistake, and I would surmise that my difficulty making this differentiation will be used against me in a court of law should "Dude vs. XL" ever actually go to court.

For those of you who are in the dark on this one, I've received a 'cease and desist' order regarding my XLBands...click the links to see the products in question. What I find most unfortunate is that I am not selling XLBands...in fact, my video shows you how to make them for free...

I am spreading knowledge to the masses...much like Johannes Gutenberg.

Furthermore, elitist Dudeband™ wearers must follow all sorts of crazy rules. XLBands have no such requirements, pretentiousnesses, or bullsh*t attached to their usage. While you may think this lessens the specialness of the item, au contraire. It makes a useful and life-changing item accessible to the world.

Like socks.

And much like socks, having a lawyer tell me to stop spreading the word about XLBands because the Dudeband™ dude is annoyed/jealous/greedy is akin to telling a knitter that she must 'cease and desist' knitting socks for her friends and family because the inventor of socks says so.

Dude...I am not profiting from the XLBand...the world is benefitting. Back off.

Or maybe buddy up.

Slacker Suburban Housewife's Single-Serving Tuna Casserole

You don't have to be a slacker housewife to make this dish. Just being lazy or tired or pressed for time...or just hungry for tuna casserole when no one else is would be criteria enough.


Is anyone ever hungry for tuna casserole?

Why, yes! In fact, I was sitting in my third parent/teacher conference of the morning on this cold, rainy day when I suddenly became obsessed with the idea of making tuna casserole and eating it. This is not something I ever make. Nor is it something my own mom ever made. It is not something my kids have ever eaten. Or heard about...until last week. Baby X read about it in a book and asked me about it. That must be what planted the seed. *my 'a-ha' moment*

After an arduous trip to Target during which a lady totally slammed her cart into my body ("I could swear you weren't there!" was her excuse) and it really, really hurt. Also during which we had severe disagreements about the stupid wrapping bag/paper/ribbon for a child's birthday present and intermittent whining about the lack of Lego purchases...I needed comfort food. And for some irrational reason, tuna casserole sounded very comforting.

There is no way in Hades my kids would eat tuna casserole, so I knew I was on my own. I made them their lunch and then made mine. I know tuna casserole is easy, and everyone who's reading this and likes tuna casserole already knows how to make it, but whatever... here is my slacker way to make enough for one person.

What you'll need:

Tools

• small saucepan
• can opener
• oven- or microwave-safe bowl
• fork
• knife

Ingredients

• water
• large handful of pasta (I chose Bionaturae Gluten-Free Elbow Macaroni because this type of GF pasta is the best, in my opinion)
• 5-oz. can of tuna, opened and drained
• glop of mayonnaise (for greasiness)
• squirt of sweet pickle relish (for zest)
• salt and pepper
• cheese, sliced (I used havarti and gruyère and cheddar)

Directions:

Pasta

1. Put enough water into saucepan to cook the pasta (I fill the pan as full as I can because I always forget that I am cooking something and this way all the water doesn't boil away and the pasta and pan do not burn). 
2. Put pan of water on the burner and turn that burner on (this is a critical step). Set to "high."
3. Bring water to a boil and then place in the large handful of pasta.
4. Set timer for the prescribed amount of cooking time...usually found on the packaging. Start the timer and put in a prominent location where you are likely to hear it when it goes off.
5. Try to remember to stir occasionally so pasta doesn't clump.
6. Turn burner off when timer goes off or when you remember that the pasta is still cooking.

Pasta boiling.

Pasta that was forgotten, 

illustrating the awesomeness of filling the pan with a lot of water.

Everyone clear on how to cook pasta? Okay...good. 

Tuna part

1. Open can with can opener. This part was going to be a Granny's Gadget, but while we were making the video the phone rang, and someone left a really loud and distracting message so we had to can it. (get it?) And no, those are not mouse droppings on the kitchen counter. They are seeds from Big G's seeded sourdough artisan baguette that he needed for his sandwich. Dude is such a princess sometimes.
2. Drain the tuna and dump into oven-safe bowl  It should look like this.
3. Sprinkle with salt and pepper.
4. Glop on the mayo and squirt on the relish 
5. Mash and mix it all up with a fork.
6. Add in the pasta and stir it all up until well mixed.
7. Slice the cheese. Layer on top of pasta and tuna mixture 
8. Bake uncovered in conventional oven at 425ºF for 15 minutes or zap in the microwave for 2 minutes 30 seconds on 70% power (or until cheese is melted). Oven method produces nice crusty browning of cheese ...

Yum.

And you know that if I can make this without hurting anyone or burning the house down, you can, too :)

Important note: after seeing how yummy this looked, and largely because of the fact that it did not produce that frighteningly cat food-like odor but instead the delicious smell of toasting cheese, my kids were hovering over me begging for bites. Well, not really. But they didn't run gagging and screaming from the room... so I'm calling it a 'win.'