grrrrind grrrrind grrrrrrriiinnnndddddd...

Every time I take a step now, I see this in my mind...

My hip doesn't hurt any more than it ever has...in fact, it feels a whole ton better than it did when it felt its worst several years ago, but after hearing "bone-on-bone"... my mind goes to the mental image of a rough-hewn mortar and pestle...grriinnddding away. I'll bet you're cringing in sympathy pain right about now ;-)

The big question now is what to do.

Here's what I KNOW helps ME feel better:

• good, deep tissue massage
• chiropractic adjustments – that leg yank always is amazing
• exercise – I actually feel more pain now than when I was running and doing more in general
• the fact that I've pretty much eaten an anti-inflammatory diet for about 5 years now (yeah, some wiggle room there like I do eat sugary stuff sometimes...I wonder how good I'd feel if I cut that out? think I might try it...)
• stretching, foam rolling, rolling on a tennis ball or lacrosse ball
• destressing and meditation, this includes getting good rest/sleep

I started doing research last week and read each and every comment and email and message regarding surgeries and treatment/management ideas and workout alternatives and here is what I've come to realize:

• I'm not ready for surgery emotionally.
• I'm very good at hearing what my body is telling me, so I will continue to listen closely to it. It tells me "you don't need surgery yet, but you've got to do something"
• I'm possibly in denial (don't say to me out loud "yes, you are" because eventually I will figure that out) but I am hanging onto a hope that my body has amazing healing abilities and so want to pursue ideas that embrace and utilize that hope.
• I'm not really interested in running much or at all if it's going to hurt, but if it doesn't hurt...
• I've really missed rowing.
• Rowing is really f*cking expensive!
• I tend to think outside the conventional box.

Decision #1...

I'm going for my first prolotherapy consultation on Wednesday. 

The worst that can happen (or so it seems) is that it won't do anything for me. I can live with that. If that turns out to be the case, then I look at other options. Easy.

The hardest part of this hip deal is realizing that, unlike a broken foot or torn hamstring, this is not going to get "better." I am not going to take 8 weeks off, doing pilates and swimming and biking or nothing, and then it will knit itself back together and be good as new. It's done. It's gone. I have to work with this forever...whether as a surgeried-on joint or other. 

The next time you're sitting out with an illness that will end or an injury that will heal, yes, it will be frustrating and hard, but remember how much worse it could be. Take time to take care of your body. If you're sick or hurting...give that awesome body a break. Don't curse it. Don't ignore it. You really don't want to have to deal with something like this. Trust me.

 **This recent series is important for me. It's really helpful to write these things out and look at them. Bear with me as I go through this process! Who knows? You might learn something useful :) **