Showing posts with label annoying. Show all posts
Showing posts with label annoying. Show all posts

31 December 2011

The Door-to-Door Vacuum Salesman

The Kirby Sentria

Have you ever heard of a Kirby vacuum cleaner? Of course you have! Your grandma probably had one...or coveted one. Both my mom and my mother-in-law had Kirbys...my mom still has the same one that we got used when I was about 10 years old. 

They are the BEST vacuum cleaners on the face of the planet. On this, there is virtually unanimous agreement. But... is a new Kirby $2500 better than your current one? Sure it can do windows and detail your car and unclog drains, but so can a roll of paper towels and a bottle of windex, the 16-year old car-nut down the street, and a toilet plunger. 

Last night, my husband and I were invaded by the door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman. I was going to write a post about our experience, but I found an excellent telling of the exact same story already online. I really wish I had read it yesterday afternoon before the psycho Kirby-bots from Hell rang my doorbell. The only differences between our experience and the one in the linked story are:
  • our incident occurred on a Friday late afternoon around 5 pm.
  • we were treated to a sort of harmlessly dorky and goofily earnest young man in a suit and tie minus the jacket instead of an attractive blonde.
  • he was accompanied by his squat, slick 'boss' instead of a handsome associate.
  • I was instructed to call a number on the flyer to schedule the appointment...which I didn't do and so was completely baffled when they showed up at my door 10 minutes later.
Otherwise, the experiences are identical almost to the letter.

Well, throw in 4 kids who were wanting dinner and a husband who got home from work at the exact same time as the 'presentation' was about to start and really just wanted a shower and a nap and to go to his buddy's poker game. It sucked. Almost as much as that Kirby can.

When they asked for my social security number to be written on a circular filter paper because they 'had no paperwork,' the red flags were whipping me in the face so hard the metal grommets drew blood (figuratively). No business cards. No product brochures. But sign a contract for a $3000 vacuum cleaner.  My husband did finally get pissed and very politely excused them from the premises.

They didn't get the sale.

But...

They did clean the filthiest part of the lovely pink carpet for free! 


That linked story takes you to a website that has other dirt on Kirby sales techniques and recruiting, in addition to some other interesting stuff. You might like to check it out :)

22 November 2010

I don' wanna be a chicken...

I told you I was going to do it... but how many people really read the crap words of wisdom and inspiration in the sidebar of any blog?

In case you didn't know, I am giving this chickie-poo away!  Yes, for real!  Can you believe it????  It can be YOURS!  

This would make the most awesome gift for someone who keeps giving you fruitcake for the holidays.  Or perhaps for that relative who insists on giving your kids really loud and annoying toys.  We all know what payback is...  ;-)

Whatever you do, though, don't give it to your own children or they will hate you when you take it away... which you will.  I know this to be true.  From personal experience.  I am now hated.

The one, the only, X-Treem-ly Annoying, Screechy, Dancing
FUNKY CHICKEN TOY!!!!!
(and a hush falls over the crowd...)



Sorry 'bout the quality of the video... my lil' doo-doo camera is really old and I actually didn't even know it had a video feature.  Lucky us!

So to win it, just tell me a little about why you want it.  There will be nothing random about the selection, it will be totally up to my whim and fancy.  Of course, I know that no one is going to try for this bad boy.

Oh, and just in case you were worried about damaged merchandise, I did catch it before it hit the ground!

17 November 2010

Buggy Boom Boom


SILVER PUNCH BUGGY!!!!!
*WHAM*
*No punch backs!* 
*OWWWW!!!
*WHAM*
*NO punch backs!* 
*HEYYYYYY!!!! MOMMMMMM!!!!*

I wish there were a jaggedy, more spidery font that could sort of visually approximate the ear-piercing, spine-shattering, nerve-damaging screech that normally accompanies that first statement ...
and a font that could somehow convey the sense of pain and deep-seated injustice that the punch recipients feel.

I hate this game.  Loathe it.  DETEST it.

I have hated it since 1995.  I have no siblings.  If I had siblings and had been subjected to this game as a child, my loathing would perhaps extend back to the 60's.  But I was introduced to this game by my stepchildren... they were 9 and 10 at the time.

OLD FASHIONED RED PUNCH BUGGY!!!!!
*WHAM*
*STOPPPPPPPP ITTTTT!!!*
*THAT'S ENOUGH!*
Back then, I outlawed the game... a couple of times.  They always found a loophole.  "What if we don't actually hit?"  "Okay."  Stupid, stupid, stupid.... why did I say that?  



WHITE PUNCH BUGGY WITH BLACK TOP!!!!
BOOM, BOOM, BOOM!
NO PUNCH BACKS!
NO, I saw it first!
NO, I DID!
NOOOOOO, I DID!!!!
*WHAM*
HEYYYYY!!!!!

A few incarnations and loopholes discovered later, and the game was totally and completely outlawed... for good... forever.  And they lost interest, I think, as it had all been going on for MONTHS.

Why is it that those who cannot remember the past... until it is too late... are doomed to repeat it?  The same thing is happening NOW.  I hate it.  Why don't I have the heart (or smarts) to just outlaw it completely again?  I think I'm getting there... lil' Miss C is only 20 months old and she now says:

B'OO BUGGY BOOM BOOM!!!

but it IS kind of cute when she says it!  

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