I'm taking my blinders off now. I'm owning my injuredness. I will not be racing this weekend. No real boo-hoos about it. It's the right and best and most comfortable decision. I feel renewed now that I've made it. And deciding to switch from the Oakland Running Festival half-marathon in March to the 5K (or maybe nothing) added hugely to my sense of relief and reinvigoration.
What led me to this place? Have I been hurting more lately? What gives, XL?
Feeling as busted up as my favorite shades...
thanks, G and Miss C :P
Here's the deal...
I started running again a little over two years ago. I stepped things up too fast. My right hip was always in a state of crisis...hanging on from run to run. There would be good times and rough times, but it never really felt strong and solid and good. Part of me believed that this was as good as it was going to get. Just take what I can. Live with the discomfort.
That all changed when I started seeing a new body work person last month. And a new trainer...also last month. Their work is showing me that I can possibly someday be pain-free. Truly pain-free. So that is my goal. There is no time goal attached to it. There is not a deadline by which it must be achieved. When I can hop on my right foot repeatedly without wincing or crumpling in pain, we'll know we're there :) I'm not hurting more lately. In fact, it's the opposite. But it does hurt. Running isn't going to make it better, and I now feel like I have a real path to wellness. And I will endeavor to follow it without wavering. Keeping my eye on the feel-good prize.
As a runner with a blog, this is the best example I can set, and as a mom as well. Listening to and hearing my body. Taking good care of myself. Being honest with myself. Making the hard decisions.
So here's what I'm doing instead...
I'm still on the elliptical and riding my bike. I'm lifting weights and doing some circuit strength stuff.
And I'm walking around with my family and enjoying our beautiful weather in our beautiful part of the country...
not every puzzle
can be solved...
...and that's okay.
I'm looking at reflections on top of shadows
and seeing my little people
through eyes that are not clouded with pain.
For the first time in a long, long time.
I know it will all be worth the wait.