A runner with a walker...the road after hip replacement.

I'm now the proud possessor of an artificial hip. And a walker.

And, let me tell you, recovery is a bitch.

My surgery happened on April Fools Day. It started at 5 pm and was a wrap by 6:15. It went seamlessly and flawlessly, and the surgical team was very happy. Yay! I walked the next day with my walker, and I went home three days later.

The time leading up to the event was NOT spent getting in great shape as I had hoped and mentioned in my last post a million years ago. Turned out that working out in pretty much any way caused me great pain...and I was just soooooo sick of being in pain. So I bagged it. I went into surgery out of shape and overweight. #winning

The best part of having surgery late in the day? You basically fast for 24 hours! Starting off my weight-loss journey ;-)

So the surgery happened. The pain came. It was horrible, but not as horrible as being massively and concretely constipated. Turns out pain killers do that, and the only way to get unconstipated is to stop the pain killers. So guess what? I'm not taking pain killers! Wheeeeeeee! Sometimes I almost get high from the pain. Sort of. I'm lying. It really hurts and there is no euphoria attached to it.

The pain is in my right thigh.

The joint feels fine.

Apparently, during the surgery they slice into your TFL and then split the muscle fibers and then retract the split muscle with metal retractors. And then they retract your quads with metal retractors. All so they can see the joint capsule, which they then slice open. Once they've sawed the femoral head off, they drop the leg down perpendicular to the rest of the body using a special table. This pops the femur up and out a little so they can drill down into in more efficiently and with greater visibility.

Are you cringing yet? I'll stop. But if you click the first link in this post it leads you to a post that has a link (you following me?) to an actual video of a hip replacement surgery...should you wish to make yourself totally skeeved out. Or educated. For me, it was both.

What this means is that my quad is ON FIRE. And weak.

Physical therapy is so humbling.

Every simple exercise causes leg shake. I have 10 exercises and a couple of "practical" things that I do at least three times a day. My PT says that I would progress faster if I were taking pain meds :( I'm going to test the waters with acetaminophen and ibuprofen, and I'll be icing after every session. Yesterday she had me go up and down our big flight of stairs (now one of my "practical" things to practice) and our goal is to have me off the walker and using the cane by the middle of next week. Graduating up to my friend, the cane :)

Most of the time I'm in good spirits. It's been challenging sometimes because I really just want to be alone. Or have people baby me. But my kids are on Spring Break (I know, I know! They are NEVER in school!) and they are still perfecting their "helpful" skills and because I can't drive them anywhere, they are ALWAYS here. (Go ahead...ask me how many times I've seen Frozen since my surgery. Go ahead...ask.)

People who've been down this road tell me that by six weeks out, you hardly even know you had the surgery...other than the fact that you don't hurt anymore :)

Others say that you shouldn't really plan on being "normal" for at least six months.

And then there's the guy who just ran a 100-mile ultra just shy of 11 months post-surgery. He finished in about 28 hours. That won't be me. Sorry not sorry. 

Will I ever run again? I don't know. I know that I want to. At least a little bit. But I have a lot of work to do before I'll feel comfortable tackling that. For now I'll be working on getting out of bed without using my hands to lift my leg up and over ...and graduating from the walker ;-)

Happy spring, people! Never ever ever take your mobility for granted :) Ever.

I've been posting a lot of this....ummmm....journey on Instagram. Feel free to click on over and follow me there.

A first time for everything.

My first post here in 2014..

My presence here at Taking It On has been sparse, I know. I was here a lot for a couple of years, and then things slowed waaaayyyyy down. Some very difficult things happened in my personal life...some of which I feel comfortable sharing and others, not yet. I doubt I'll ever return to blogging here every day, but I do have a real fondness for you, my Taking It On readers, and for blabbing sharing about myself and life's trials and tribulations and so am still drawn to indulge in this narcissistic outlet from time to time. Here's the latest...

In my last post, which was posted on the last day of last year (lots of lasts), I shared an image of a very diseased hip joint. It was an x-ray taken a year ago, and it was gnarly...in a not good way. For a reminder about what went down, click here to be transported to February of last year. That day I had gone in for a second opinion and I saw that x-ray for the first time. And it stunned me into reality. At that appointment I made the decision that I will get a full hip replacement.

Two weeks ago I had a new image taken. I was x-rayed this time in preparation for meeting with an orthopedic surgeon. It looked even worse...bigger bone spurs, more of that white stuff indicating increased bone due to stress, and weird cysts in the femoral head. Looking at the picture made me cringe. The surgeon said, "Sooooooo...you've got a really messed up hip!"

And while he didn't sing to me, he did spend an hour talking with me about life and surgery and family and joints and "big picture" and zombie apocalypses. He's my surgeon-of-choice and I am excited to get this done.

After a year of basically doing NOTHING in terms of fitness, I'm now cross-training like it's my job. The plan is to be in the best shape time (and pain levels) will allow going into surgery. I need to get stronger and more fit...and I need to lose about 15 lbs. That last part is so humbling. I can't say I've ever been in that place before. But I'm ready to... what am I ready to do????

That's right... TAKE IT ON.

'Cuz that's what I do.

Will I ever run again? That remains to be seen. It is on the "NOT recommended" list for artificial hip recipients, but people do it anyway. My surgeon said, "I can sell you the car, but what you do with it once you drive it off the lot is up to you." 

But enough of that hard stuff...

Everything else in life is going nicely...my kids are happy, my husband is happy, I'm happy. We just moved to a house that suits us really well, and the kids are all still going to their same schools. Big G is loving his high school (and how many people can say that they LOVED high school?). And, if you clicked the right link above, you now know my dirty little, two-timing secret. Please understand that I needed an outlet and I know that some of you have a hard time with "language." We are all multi-faceted...now you have a glimpse of more of my facets :)

Me with wet hair and a beautiful 4-year old.

So, HI, EVERYONE!!!! Have you missed me as much as I've missed you??? And running....I really miss running...

How to define 2013?

The year can be boiled down to three pictures and three words...

 

PAINFUL

yes, this is my x-ray...which I saw for the first time today

 

REAFFIRMING

yes, this is my husband...who'd kill me if he knew I posted this

 FAMILY

yes, these are my kids...who inspire me every single day

2013 was the hardest year of my life...but it finished up well, creating a nice segue into the New Year. I'm ready for 2014. 

May it grace us all with an abundance of joy and good health.

Cheers!

Jingle Bell Hell 2013 Recap

It's hard to begin.

I didn't run this year. I sat in the back of my car and passed out donuts. I handled the state-of-the-art video for the finish line and monitored the new chip-timing.

It was fun, but I have to admit it was kind of sad to not get to run.

It was a glorious morning...

On the cold side, but not as frigid as last year.

I arrived early like a good race director should...armed with donuts and prizes and the trophy...

I had a hunch there would be very few runners so I offered donuts to hikers. Again, some looked at the smiling, donut-offering weirdo with suspicion while others gleefully accepted. Lesson for all of you: gleeful is way better than suspicious...it's a much more enjoyable way to go through life.

Jen showed up first...rarin' to go. Since RoseRunner had failed to respond to my wake-up text, we assumed she would be a no-show and Jen went on her merry way.

Forty-five minutes later, RoseRunner and her husband whipped into the parking lot and sauntered over to the start line, thinking that this year's chip-timing would be working in their favor. It wasn't. Lesson for all of you: prompt arrival at that start of a race can be the difference between #winning and losing.

Here comes Jen, sprinting to the chips!

*VIDEO ISSUES. WORKING ON IT*

but you may never get to see it :(

And with a good STOMP!

#JBH2013 was over and the victor was ... ummm... donut-ed.

I always like to use super flattering photos of my friends.

And scenic backdrops.

Many thanks to the three runners who showed and many thanks to the several virtual participants!



I aim to put together a round-up of the virtual recaps, so please email or tweet me your link AGAIN...I just moved and things have been pretty chaotic and I don't want to miss anyone!

 

Thus, Jen joins the winners who came before her...

inscribed in ballpoint pen on masking tape...

FOR TIME IMMEMORIAL!

Recommencing...

A lot has transpired since my last post way back in mid July...enough to overwhelm me to the point of saying let's leave it at that and start from here.

It was a super busy summer. Yes, we went to the zoo. Come on...it was vacation. Of course we went to the zoo! No elephant penis this time, but.... the alpha male baboon was extremely happy to be alive. The kids giggled but it wasn't particularly noteworthy. The baby baboon, on the other hand, was adorable.

Family-friendly photo.

My kids are still super amazing and beautiful. Yes, they FINALLY all started school this week. I now have a kid in high school, one in middle school, one in elementary school and one in preschool.

Lest you think I now have tons of time to live a life of leisurely manicures and pedicures (which I've never been inclined to get anyway) or fun shopping excursions to places other than the grocery store or daily yoga/pilates/whatever classes now that everyone is out of the house for the better part of the day, think again. We are in the midst of a moving fiasco. Most of you know that moving in and of itself is a pain in the ass, right? Okay, now throw the word "fiasco" in there. It super sucks. I'll explain more later. Maybe. If I remember.

Bottom line on family life: All's well. Yay.

Today I met with awesome singing injection doctor for the seventh time since February. There have been some ups and downs regarding my overall health and my hip, but things seem to return to a level place eventually. I've done precious little in the way of exercise, and that's still been okay with me. But...

After conferring with my physical therapist, my chiropractor, my massage therapist, my awesome singing injection doctor and MYSELF, it has been determined that it is not unrealistic to start a little running again at the end of the month and additionally not unrealistic to possibly run 5K on Thanksgiving (yay, Sonoma Turkey Trot...of course it won't be to defend my title...lol).

I'm hoping to post more frequently now that the kids are back in school, but that most likely won't really happen until the moving situation is sorted out.

Nonetheless, here I am :)

Hi!  *smiles and waves*

Hope you all are doing well and hope we can get reacquainted.




If you want to see some photos from our summer adventures, I've been posting on Instagram...xlmic.

Coming up on six weeks...

That's how long it's been since I've checked in over here.

I'm chagrined.

Two words that have taken on markedly less importance in my world of late would be "blogging" and "workout".

But it's time for both to return...not with a vengeance, though. With thought and care.

I know everyone who used to read Taking It On has probably been quite curious about my injection schedule and how my hip is doing, so that will be the first order of biz.

MY HIP

I had my second PRP injection on March 20th. It was amazing. No singing, sadly. But cute, nice doctor same as the first time. Nice, big needle again, too.

 

Unfortunately, that alcohol bottle is not the drinking kind.

Might've helped had it been.

Recovery seemed faster than the first time. While there is still some soreness and inflammation, that is deemed normal as the injection causes an inflammatory healing response. The truly remarkable thing is the ease and smoothness of movement, especially when not bearing weight. The range of motion and increased flexibility is arresting. And I have been cleared to start working on the elliptical...as long as it doesn't hurt. You bet your ass I'll be paying close attention and safe-guarding my investment and progress. The instant it hurts in that not good way, I am off the machine. Interestingly, I'm not feeling driven to jump back on. It's Spring Break over here...the kids are all home...I've got things to do and people to play with. I'll probably get back to things of a workout nature in a week or so. Injection #3 is slated for sometime before the end of the month...no set date yet.

WORKING OUT

None. Nada. Zip. And totally NOT stressed about it. I have so much on my plate right now. While working out might help decrease some of the stress, making it happen might increase it. I look at it as a wash and have let go. It'll all come back when it's time. For now, I'm focusing on feeling healthy and happy and spending a ton of time with my kids :)

Which brings us to...

MY KIDS

My oldest just got accepted to an amazing local high school. I am so proud of him. Of course, it wasn't his first choice and so he's having a hard time getting excited about it. I do wish we could skip this phase, but we can't.

 

Photo taken two days after he received 

the first-choice school's wait list letter...hence the attitude.

Who'm I kidding? He'd have the attitude no matter what.

My big girl is just a joy. Doing great in school. Helpful wherever she is. Lots of harp playing and reading books. Lots of creating cool stuff like wallets made out of found materials and earrings made out of safety pins and writing books and drawing involved fashion pictures. She is really just the coolest of the cool.

 

I convinced her to go on the Ferris wheel at the local boardwalk.

We got stuck at the top...and I took this picture.

My little boy turned 8 since the last time I posted. Still non-stop, he had a bounce-house extravaganza for a party and a cake topped with General Grievous.

And my baby turned 4! She was super duper sick on her actual birthday but did get to share the bounce madness party with her big bro.

I've missed you all. Sounds corny, but it's true.

It's very likely that I'll be around a little more, but no guarantees.

Hope all o' y'all's worlds are treating you well :)

Not Pimp Rock Palace (photo warning for the squeamish)

Yesterday I experienced PRP for the first time.

And that doesn't stand for Pimp Rock Palace.

In this case, PRP stands for Platelet-Rich Plasma. My own platelet-rich plasma was injected into my hip joint as part of a treatment series attempting to regenerate cartilage in there. You can read about it here.

In case you're new here, I was recently diagnosed with severe osteoarthritis and told that my hip joint has degenerated to being a bone-on-bone situation.

I'm following the ranks of A-Rod, Tiger Woods, and Kobe Bryant...as one reader said, "Without the hookers." (Cant' remember who gave me that gem...speak up because I love it and want to thank you). These pro athletes (and others) have had success with this form of treatment.

The top yellowish part is the plasma. The next whitish layer contains the platelets.

These two layers are what he injected into my hip joint.

I went to see the cute doctor. I filled out a bunch of paperwork and then went into the inner sanctum. After chatting a bit about my hip's history and filling my husband in on what was about to happen and how it worked, we got down to the real business. After drawing my blood, he numbed my hip with two injections of something. This was the most painful part of the procedure, and it was more a stinging pressure than pain. The first one was more superficial while the second went deep.

This is the third time I've used "singing" as a coping mechanism when undergoing an 'uncomfortable' medical event. I've found this way of distracting myself to be extremely effective and recommend it highly. I began during the first numbing injection with a sort of humming with my mouth open and so was kind of loud. It changed in volume and pitch as the injection proceeded. Then with the second one, I sang an actual song.

I'm singing....

I'm in a doctor's office and I'm singing....
I'm in a doctor's office and I'm SINNNGINNNNGGGG!!!!

The doctor started laughing and joined in.

And you're my dad... and guess what?
I love you!
I LOVE you!
I LOVE YOUUUUUU!!!!!

I am completely and entirely serious. I now know with absolute certainty that I picked the right doctor for ME. Unfortunately, my husband had not yet begun filming when the musical portion of the procedure happened :(  The film he did take isn't all that interesting...just me getting a shot with the needle shown below...

Yes, that's my hip.

And now you've seen my underwear.

Another angle that makes the needle look even longer.

Now just imagine that above vial of PRP hooked onto the needle 

and being injected into my hip.

It didn't hurt really. A huge pressure sensation more than anything. It made my hip feel "juicy" inside. It made things feel different right away...but of course, my hip was numbed so there was that :P The doctor and my husband stood on either side of me as I tried to take my first step. Thank GOD because it felt like there was a huge THING missing...oh, yeah...that would be my numb hip! And I almost went down. But within moments, I was able to sort of shuffle with help.

It got sore about 30 minutes later, just an achy, beat-up feeling. This lasted for several hours. I was able to walk around the house slowly and go up and down stairs holding onto the railing. I'm probably more mobile than I think, but I am being paranoid and allowing the treatment to "settle in" and do it's thing. Sleeping was no problem.

This morning I feel fine. It's a little sore but not bad at all. I admit that I am afraid to even slightly test it. I'm going to spend the day alternating between shuffling and lying around. I go back in a month to do it again. The doctor feels we're looking at 5-6 treatments...maybe more, but he is optimistic that this will help a lot. I'm in Running Moratorium for at least that long, and no elliptical for 2-3 treatments. I can bike, row on the rowing machine, yoga, do some easy weights, perform rehabby exercises, and walk around. We don't want to disturb any possible cartilage regeneration process!

I'll be taking a fistful of joint supplements...MSM, glucosamine, and chondroitin. Additionally, I'll continue my anti-inflammatory way of eating and doing my meditative work. It's time to make the healing, restorative work a major priority.

If you have any questions about this, feel free to ask! I am completely fascinated by this process.

Still smiling ...

Today I go and maybe get a giant needle stuck into my hip and have stuff injected in there. But I might not. It depends on what the doctor says. I hope he says,

LET'S DO IT!!!!

because I am eager to get the show on the road even though it's needles and needles freak the crap out of me. If it works, if it doesn't work...at least it's a starting point. So I'm smiling even though I haven't run since I can't even remember. 

Thanks, everyone, for your shared excitement about the rowing. It was really fun. I did it twice last week, and that will be all...for now. Deciding to proceed with the prolotherapy course of treatment (which is not covered by insurance) will be a financial commitment that will already stretch us. Rowing is way more expensive than I had imagined. I had a hard time keeping a straight face when I was given the cost breakdown. What the WHAT? LOL! And, dude, 4:40 a.m. is sooooooo f*cking early!!! 

For now the energy will be focused on healing or treating or whatevering my sweet little hurting hip :) I will not curse it. I will be loving it and nurturing it and promising to do right by it.

As I ponder what lies ahead, I've been spending time hanging with one of my favorite girls...

Can't catch me!

Yeah, right now I can't...but wait until I get this hip sorted ;-)

We know who runs the show around here...

...and clearly, it isn't me!

Alrighty, time to go be a mom. Because guess what? My kids are ON VACATION!!!! Might be a good time to take a trip to the zoo ;-)

I'll be sure to report back about how the doctor appointment goes!

What would you want to do if you were a kid on vacation? Don't say Disneyland...think local :)

Ever tried a course of treatment that seemed experimental? How'd it go?


p.s. Jingle Bell Hellers...i have NOT forgotten about you! 

grrrrind grrrrind grrrrrrriiinnnndddddd...

Every time I take a step now, I see this in my mind...

My hip doesn't hurt any more than it ever has...in fact, it feels a whole ton better than it did when it felt its worst several years ago, but after hearing "bone-on-bone"... my mind goes to the mental image of a rough-hewn mortar and pestle...grriinnddding away. I'll bet you're cringing in sympathy pain right about now ;-)

The big question now is what to do.

Here's what I KNOW helps ME feel better:

• good, deep tissue massage
• chiropractic adjustments – that leg yank always is amazing
• exercise – I actually feel more pain now than when I was running and doing more in general
• the fact that I've pretty much eaten an anti-inflammatory diet for about 5 years now (yeah, some wiggle room there like I do eat sugary stuff sometimes...I wonder how good I'd feel if I cut that out? think I might try it...)
• stretching, foam rolling, rolling on a tennis ball or lacrosse ball
• destressing and meditation, this includes getting good rest/sleep

I started doing research last week and read each and every comment and email and message regarding surgeries and treatment/management ideas and workout alternatives and here is what I've come to realize:

• I'm not ready for surgery emotionally.
• I'm very good at hearing what my body is telling me, so I will continue to listen closely to it. It tells me "you don't need surgery yet, but you've got to do something"
• I'm possibly in denial (don't say to me out loud "yes, you are" because eventually I will figure that out) but I am hanging onto a hope that my body has amazing healing abilities and so want to pursue ideas that embrace and utilize that hope.
• I'm not really interested in running much or at all if it's going to hurt, but if it doesn't hurt...
• I've really missed rowing.
• Rowing is really f*cking expensive!
• I tend to think outside the conventional box.

Decision #1...

I'm going for my first prolotherapy consultation on Wednesday. 

The worst that can happen (or so it seems) is that it won't do anything for me. I can live with that. If that turns out to be the case, then I look at other options. Easy.

The hardest part of this hip deal is realizing that, unlike a broken foot or torn hamstring, this is not going to get "better." I am not going to take 8 weeks off, doing pilates and swimming and biking or nothing, and then it will knit itself back together and be good as new. It's done. It's gone. I have to work with this forever...whether as a surgeried-on joint or other. 

The next time you're sitting out with an illness that will end or an injury that will heal, yes, it will be frustrating and hard, but remember how much worse it could be. Take time to take care of your body. If you're sick or hurting...give that awesome body a break. Don't curse it. Don't ignore it. You really don't want to have to deal with something like this. Trust me.

 **This recent series is important for me. It's really helpful to write these things out and look at them. Bear with me as I go through this process! Who knows? You might learn something useful :) **

What the doctor said...

Today I had a phone consultation with my health plan's orthopedics guy to discuss my diagnosis.

I had a massive list of questions for him and was anticipating him to be a pompous, disdainful jerk. I based this on his online reviews. What I quickly realized once we began talking is that smart doctors appreciate well-informed, energetic, proactive patients. On the flip side, smart doctors tend to be a little dismissive and impatient with patients who don't really take care of their bodies. This guy is a smart doctor. And I am his perfect patient.

(all quoted dialogue is not necessarily directly quoted!)

Right away he said, "I'm not sure if I should give it to you straight...or if I should sugar-coat it a little."

"Give it to me straight up," I told him. "I don't mess around."

He laughed.

Then he got serious and said, "Your hip is done."

He proceded to tell me that there is no evidence of cartilage in there...it's a bone-on-bone situation. I am lucky that I am thin and active and fit and healthy...and "obviously very energetic."

I asked him about getting an MRI. "No need," he said. "The damage is done. There is no repair surgery to do. There's essentially nothing left." He went on to say that I had not done this to myself...I had done nothing wrong.

Then we talked about what I've been doing for the past 2+ years. He was floored. And not annoyed or frustrated or scolding. "I'm not going to tell you to not do anything," he said. "You can keep doing the things you want to do with the comfort level that works for you. The only thing I suggest is that you please don't wait until you've been inactive due to the pain for months and lose your fitness and your positive outlook to get the surgery. Being strong and positive will be critical for you to do well. Keep that in mind!"

He said running is not the best choice. Rowing is fine. Cycling, elliptical, pretty much anything except running...but he's not going to tell me to not run. "You'll know if it hurts too much...you can't make the condition worse," is what he basically said.

Based on my x-ray, he had wanted to put me on his surgery schedule immediately, but after talking with me he feels that would definitely be premature.

"Radiologically, you're a mess. Clinically, you're amazing. I can't say when you will need the replacement...or when you'll want it. But when that time comes, I'm here."

And we wished each other a nice day.

So now I begin setting up appointments to talk with various providers about treatments to help keep me strong. Physical therapist, chiropractor, acupuncturist, naturopath...I'm building an team.

If anyone has dealt with this and has some great ideas for me, please let me know in a comment or email!

Many thanks to RockStarTri and The Unexpected Runner for all your advice and willingness to share your insights. And many thanks to all of you, my generous and thoughtful readers, for your kind words and enthusiasm for my journey yet-to-come!

Anyone have personal experience with prolotherapy?
–this treatment option has me intrigued...

Old things becoming new things...

A few days before I got the bad news, I had made arrangements to go check something out. I had been feeling discouraged about running and thought maybe a little change-up might help.

The checking-out happened on Saturday morning. I was so fortunate that it was gorgeous out instead of cold and windy and rainy...

 Sunrise and San Quentin Penitentiary

I had opted to go for a ride in the coach's launch and talk with the coach about the team instead of hopping in a boat. I must confess, the moment I pulled up into the parking lot I started quivering with excitement. While I was glad I had chosen to not row that morning, my appetite was whetted. 

A little morning choppiness out on the SF Bay...

 ...but pretty glassy down by the inlet.

I can't wait until Wednesday.

I'm going to row.

At least, I'm going to try it.

Here's where it gets not-so-pretty...

I was really hoping 2013 would be a kinder, gentler year to me. Last year really ran me through the wringer in so many ways, and I was really looking forward to a little respite.

But if it were easy, there would be nothing to TAKE ON, XL!

Right.

*sigh*

Okay.

Fine.

After I spend a little bit of time wallowing in self-pity and grieving whatever the hell I'm grieving, I will get started Taking It On...because yes, that is what I do. But sometimes I'm just really super tired of taking it on.

Yesterday, I received the write-up on my x-ray...

Moderate to severe osteoarthritis of the right hip.

On the one hand, YAY! A diagnosis! On the other hand, holy s*it...conventional medicine says there's nothing you can do to heal it. You can 'manage' it...manage the pain...mask the symptoms...cut it out and put a piece of metal and plastic in there that will need to be replaced again in 10 years and isn't made to fit a small woman's physique and doesn't treat whatever the heck led to this whole crappy situation in the first place. You can shoot cortisone in there that will further erode any cartilage that still exists in that thar hip socket.

Ummmm...no thanks. None of those really appeal to me. Conventional medicine in this moment isn't really appealing to me :P

Oh, and honey...running is probably the worst thing you can do. Oh, you say you've been thinking of rowing again? Think again because that deep compression at the catch? Yeah, probably going to really screw you up even more.

You can go for a walk. 

Or swim.

You all know how I feel about swimming, right?

Regardless of what you do, sweetheart, you are on a one-way trip to losing the hip.

So I'm sitting here, staring at my little screen and thinking...

What in the heck am I going to do now?

And my answer today is...

I have no idea.

:(

I'm hoping some of you stick around to see how this turns out. But it might really suck. One thing I can say with certainty is this... for awhile at least there won't be much running talk. So if that's why you come here, yeah...probably other more interesting places to hang out ;-)

Of course, I am one to buck trends and piss people off so this journey will probably be entertaining to watch.

Maybe I could get some network to fund a reality show?

An update of sorts

Not a whole lot of time for this, unfortunately, but here are some random updates on what is happening Chez XL...

1.  We are having crawly critter issues...

This is misleading. The spider is as big as my thumb! 

G came running downstairs the other night...

MOM!!!!! THERE IS A HUGE SPIDER

RIGHT

OVER 

MY

BED

!!!!!!!!!!

I, being the adventurous, unafraid mom that I am, captured it live

and released it to the wild into our front yard.

And then there's this...

we wake up more often than not (or so it seems) to this...

Do you see the ants? I found this photo on my phone. I didn't take it.

I was too busy KILLING THEM.

It was like D-Day all over again.

The ants were like the Allies...they kept sending troops into battle. Relentless, onward they came.

In unheard of numbers. More and more and more strode into the slaughter.

The vacuum cleaner and I heartlessly and methodically decimated their ranks.

Unapologetically committing insecticide...

Yet knowing that, though we might win this battle, 

those little bastards would probably win the war.

2. We've had familial sickness...

No pictures of this. Over the weekend, both my husband and I got some weird zombie-like sickness. No body aches or fever or throwing up, just these headaches and disorientation and inability to function like normal people. On one occasion, my husband was lurching down the hall and I was stumbling around in the kitchen making lunch for the kids and I started laughing so hard. I was seriously like we were two zombies trying to raise a houseful of human children. Guess you had to be there :P

3. I finally got my hip x-rayed.

No results yet. I just had it done yesterday. I'd been dragging my feet on that for about 9 years. Ummmm...yeah.... First it was because a week after the doc wrote the requisition, I found out I was pregnant. Hip x-ray while pregnant, no es bueno. When I was ready to get the x-ray after that baby was born...BOOM... pregnant again. That happened a couple of times. So then it just seemed like every time I was going to get it the wait was going to be HOURS. Yesterday I had a couple of free hours, so I decided to just suck it up and go. I was in and out in 20 minutes. Whoa. Did I feel kind of stupid. Yeah. You'll be the firsts to know what it says as soon as I know.

That's all I've got for now!

I hope life is treating all of you well and thanks for hanging tough with me while I spend a little less time in BlogWorld.

Be well!

Setting the best example I can...

My best advice to an injured runner has always been this...don't run if it's hurting you.

I'm taking my blinders off now. I'm owning my injuredness. I will not be racing this weekend. No real boo-hoos about it. It's the right and best and most comfortable decision. I feel renewed now that I've made it. And deciding to switch from the Oakland Running Festival half-marathon in March to the 5K (or maybe nothing) added hugely to my sense of relief and reinvigoration.

What led me to this place? Have I been hurting more lately? What gives, XL?

Feeling as busted up as my favorite shades...

thanks, G and Miss C :P

Here's the deal...

I started running again a little over two years ago. I stepped things up too fast. My right hip was always in a state of crisis...hanging on from run to run. There would be good times and rough times, but it never really felt strong and solid and good. Part of me believed that this was as good as it was going to get. Just take what I can. Live with the discomfort.

That all changed when I started seeing a new body work person last month. And a new trainer...also last month. Their work is showing me that I can possibly someday be pain-free. Truly pain-free. So that is my goal. There is no time goal attached to it. There is not a deadline by which it must be achieved. When I can hop on my right foot repeatedly without wincing or crumpling in pain, we'll know we're there :) I'm not hurting more lately. In fact, it's the opposite. But it does hurt. Running isn't going to make it better, and I now feel like I have a real path to wellness. And I will endeavor to follow it without wavering. Keeping my eye on the feel-good prize.

As a runner with a blog, this is the best example I can set, and as a mom as well. Listening to and hearing my body. Taking good care of myself. Being honest with myself. Making the hard decisions.

So here's what I'm doing instead...

I'm still on the elliptical and riding my bike. I'm lifting weights and doing some circuit strength stuff.

And I'm walking around with my family and enjoying our beautiful weather in our beautiful part of the country...

...and

learning that 

not every puzzle

can be solved...

...and that's okay.

I'm looking at reflections on top of shadows

and seeing my little people

through eyes that are not clouded with pain.

At all.

For the first time in a long, long time.

Whatever happens, 

I know it will all be worth the wait. 

"Not ALL adjustments are THAT dramatic"...

...said my new best friend chiropractor.

After a million years of trying so many different things (and yes, I did try chiro before), my PT and I discussed the possibility that my leg was now loosened up enough and my body strong enough to be effectively adjusted and then to hold the adjustment. And so on Thursday, I went to see a chiropractor for the third time in my life...and the first time since 2007.

If you've ever been to a chiropractor, this will just be boring. It might be boring anyway. If you find it boring, good God, just skip it!

After taking a lot of information; observing and assessing my posture, strength, balance, and symmetry; discussing the what, how and why of my wacked out hip socket and what to do with it; and wiggling my face-down body back and forth and up and down on this super nifty adjustment table...

The doctor told me to turn over onto my back and instructed me that there were handles to hold above my head. I grabbed the handles. She took my offending leg gently but firmly into her hands and began to rotate it a bit.

Then she allofasuddenyankeditashardasshecouldandthehipsocketwent

CRACK!

and my leg was dangling off the table, attached to my torso by my skin alone.

Just kidding.

About that last part only.

The ball-and-socket joint did, indeed, crack louder than a bullwhip in a rodeo ring, but it didn't come apart...even though it felt like it did.

And I started laughing like Q-Man did when I pulled his tooth out.

And then I got up off the table, put my pants and shoes on, and walked out of there like a totally normal person...with no hip pain and no weirdness to my walk.

Yeah...I'm definitely going again.

And yeah...I'm definitely asking her if she'll do that yankmyhipoutofthesocket thing again.

I think this is going to work out pretty amazingly.

Just so this blog doesn't get SUPER boring and stagnant...

...here's a post...

It will lack cohesion. It will ramble. It might be boring...but it WON'T be stagnant.

Let's tackle the fitness end of things first...

Tonight I ran for the THIRD time this week. Watch the f*ck out. Getting serious, y'all. After my two pain-free runs on my flat, chill loopty-loops, both being 2.25 miles in length, I decided to challenge myself tonight...yep...Moeser...

This is how she looked tonight from the top at around ten minutes after 6.

I started OCD-style at the very bottom...right next to the Golden Gate Adult Superstore ('couples encouraged!'). Ugh. Why did I include that link? Now I will get alllllll sorts of interesting google searches in my analytics :P And I RAN all the way up that puppy. ALL. THE. WAY. UP. And in keeping with the OCD-ness of the workout, instead of stopping at the usual OCD turnaround telephone pole, I continued running until my Garmin showed me "1.5" so that I could ultimately claim a 'long' run of 3.0 miles even.

I felt GREAT. I didn't even want to stop at all. I even ran (sort of) down the hill, too. This proved to be fairly disastrous. No, it didn't hurt my hip...I went super slowly and carefully, with awesome form and a quick, light step. It was more the fact that by the time I got back to my car at the bottom of the hill, my had-4-kids-at-an-advanced-maternal-age bladder control had demonstrated how it is less than stellar. Yes, like a good blogger I took pictures of the enormous mess that was my shorts...I even texted it to a good friend. But given that she hasn't responded to that text, I'm thinking that pissed-in-pants pictures cross the line of not only good taste but perhaps friendship as well. So you are spared.

To keep the AwesomeBall rolling, I jumped into the car, changed my shorts and drove to the gym where I planned to spin out a quick turnover 30 minutes on the elliptical (a somewhat delusional prep plan for the downhill portions of my relay legs). Somehow that easy spin-out contained a new elliptical 5K PR (super meaningful...I know) without me even trying. 19:49 for a 5K...man, still wishing that this machine translated directly into road speed. *sigh*

Throw in a little climbing that is amazingly helping my core and overall strength ... dudes, I even have biceps now... and that was the fitness week that was. It was an easy week. Remember...life is kicking my a** right now and we're taking whatever we can get :)

Now on to kid stuff...

Lots going on.

Friday, no one had camp. We needed to do something fun to keep our minds off the fact that a DVD was jammed in the car's DVD player and was going to probably cost an absurd amount of money to extricate and repair. We started off with pancakes. My kids have pancakes a LOT. They are the norm here. So to make them seem more special, I made Mickey Mouse-head pancakes...

Yes, served up on a Jimmy Neutron plate. 

We then headed across the bay to Sausalito and the Bay Area Discovery Museum...located at the north end of the Golden Gate Bridge in Fort Baker. It was foggy but not cold...

My charming sons attempted to steal the donation money...

...unsuccessfully.

And then we proceeded to this summer's main attraction...Clifford the BIG Red Dog...

He is ... BIG. And red.

Miss C really dug this set up.

While she tried to bring some order to the chaos of a children's museum by stacking the bones...

 I mused at how progressive things are on Birdwell Island...

And then she had to pee. But being 3 years old means that when you have to pee you don't have to pee. Instead, you just hop from one foot to the other, rub your knees together, remain in frenetic motion... God forbid I should scoop her up and simply carry her off to the bathroom...her screeching would summon protective services :(

Almost immediately after this picture of her trying desperately to not pee in her pants was taken, 

she begrudgingly agreed that a visit to the bathroom was a good idea. 

Whew.

After playing on the outside exhibits for a little bit,

she spaced out.

This usually signals a meltdown is imminent and so we headed out...

and had lunch at In 'N' Out...much to everyone's delight!

Big G needed me to photo this very unusual french fry.

I said it looked like a fishbone. He said no.

Whatever...

On Saturday, we picked up the car. The DVD had been extricated, but there are no guarantees that it won't happen again...although the mechanic did observe the unit functioning properly several times post-extrication. If the unit is a goner, they tell me it'll be a grand. Which is not so grand.

And then my son became a cyborg...

Legos taped to the head = cyborg

Did you ever tape stuff to your head when you were a kid?

And no, he wasn't a mean or destructive cyborg. The little gizmo wouldn't stay taped to his head long enough to do any damage to anything but his own hair.

Hope everyone had an equally entertaining weekend! Now it's on to Monday!!!! Yay!!!!