To run with my son...and other stuff...

One of the best things to come out of needing to step back with running is this...

Big G and his mama, post-run :)

Big G runs a timed mile for PE once a month. He's been a little discouraged that his times are not getting faster...in fact, they've gotten slower. His best was 7:57 or something like that just under an 8-minute mile. His last two have been around 9:15. He keeps wishing he were faster...but somehow that whole notion of doing the work to make that happen seemed to be escaping him. Then, about 10 days ago, he told me he really wanted to be able to get a better time, and when I suggested he come out and run with me a few times per week, he said "Okay." 

The first two times were agony. He was miserable and whiny. Huffing and puffing and slapping his feet and then shuffling his feet, he kept asking if we could stop...like, every 30 seconds. We were doing minilaps around the block (<0.2 mi) because he "didn't want to run too far"...failing to understand that a mile is a mile is a mile and running a whole mess of tiny loops might be way more boring than running a bigger loop fewer times. Whatever. Toward the end of the second run we did together, about when the pissing and moaning was at its zenith, I asked him, "So...does a manticore have wings?" And without hesitating or gasping for air, he rattled off several different descriptions of this mythological beast. And then he launched into a compare/contrast monologue between the manticore and a chimera which lasted for the rest of the run.

Since then, at the beginning of each subsequent outing, he starts right off asking me, "So what should we talk about this time?" And he's all chipper and jaunty as he rattles of myths and legends and tales of strange beasts from literature. There is usually a segment of the run where he starts groaning and gasping, but it seems to be happening later and later in the run and lasting for a shorter period of time. Go, Big G!

For the first time in his life, he is enjoying stepping out of his comfort zone. He even asked for real running shoes...so we got some yesterday. We've just gone regular, ol' running...no speedwork, no tempo crap...just running to run to have it be fun. I'm guessing that it can't help but improve his fitness level and mile time more than sitting on his butt doing homework would or playing alien-invaders-meet-the-knights-of-the-jedi-round-table-in-sherwood-forest...or whatever the heck he and Q-man play every single night when they are supposed to be doing homework.

We'll see this Wednesday when he runs in PE. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I know that an improvement will go a long way toward motivating him to keep it up. Unfortunately, I'm thinking the flip side of that also applies. But we're going for OPTIMISM here at Taking It On...so think good thoughts for my boy :)

After he and I ran 1.25 miles on Friday, I did an additional 3...that felt spectacular. They weren't particularly speedy, but they felt solid and comfortable and loose and happy, even though it was pouring rain for part of the run. It was so unbelievably encouraging. 

On Saturday, after our family went out in Sherry's honor (click here to see a slideshow tribute created by Sherry's cousin, Beth Risdon), I went for the nicest bike ride I've had in 3 months. It was a gorgeous day. I didn't cry. Irritating people and their leash-less dogs only bothered me a little bit. And I saw this...

Guy on a really tall bike...

...that he made himself...I asked.

When I showed these pictures to my husband, he wanted to know Why? What is the attraction to this? Would it make you ride faster? Is it refining balance or strength? What is the purpose of the Tall Bike? (he's a guy who always asks these kinds of questions...on a casual run together once early in our courtship, he asked me...just as casual conversation, mind you... "what is the basis of your spiritual foundation?" Yeah, inquiring minds want to know).

I told him that I didn't think there was a point to the Tall Bike...that I really thought is was just a creative thing and for attention. And he countered with, "Well...how do you know?" To which I replied, "I can tell by the boots." The guy's wearing image boots.

Sadly, my awesome Friday run, powerfully emotive walk Saturday morning, and joyous bike ride later that afternoon took their toll on me somehow. My guts are messed up and my back is in pain. The pain goes down my leg. I actually think the guts are hurting something in my pelvis (psoas, maybe?) that is, in turn, bugging my back and leg. And I think this is likely related to that thing I did for the entire month of November that also screwed up my serotonin. The intricacies and interrelations of the human body are mind-blowing. 

I am looking forward to the day that I get this crap sorted out. Literally.

What Up Weds.

First, pursuant to the serotonin post, I had a great meeting with my clinician this morning. We've devised a plan that sounds like it will work. It will take a little time, but it leaves me hopeful :) Tomorrow I'll be asking my acupuncturist to throw her magic into the mix. Huge thanks to all of you pulling for me...your kind words and thoughts sent my way help more than you know. Or maybe you do know :)

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Second, I am running in a race this weekend. I am expecting big things since I've done a two-month taper and am quite well-rested ;-) It was intended to be my redemption half, and I was going to crush the two-hour barrier that has been eluding me. (It's a local race with a downhill/flat course, point-to-point...while feeling slightly like a cheater-cheater-pumpkin-eater, I really wanted that number for some stupid reason....even though it wouldn't be a PR...I need to stop being competitive with anything other than my kid at Monopoly...at least for the moment). Since I haven't run anywhere near a "long" run in two months, I will be doing the race-day downgrade to a 5K. Let's place bets on how long it'll take me to run 5K...on a slightly long (3.2 miles), flat-and-downhill course. What do YOU think? Remember, I haven't run hardly at all in two months, and my time in November when I was kind of in shape was 24:01.

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Whoever is the closest to my actual, official finish time will win a prize...so give it your best guess :)

Finally, my 12-year old bookworm child told me yesterday that he wants to run with me. He wants to improve his timed mile for P.E. and would like to run a couple of times a week with me. I was happily stunned. So tonight I will run with Big G... the beginning of our Big Adventure in Running...or not. Maybe we should just keep it low-key and not blow a 1.5-mile run out of all proportion. Anyway...it'll be fun. I hope. And I'll bet he's hoping so, too.

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whoa...animation! i had no idea it did that when i swiped that image!

And that's what up this fine Weds.

Would whoever took my serotonin please give it back?

At the end of last week I got some information that confirmed my suspicions. Of course they were bad suspicions. Of course... because do we ever have suspicions that are good?

My bank statement confirmed my suspicions. I was indeed rolling in dough and able to live the life of my fantasies.


After reviewing the x-rays and lab tests, the doctor confirmed my suspicions that the pain in my leg was due to a gross lack of chocolate and ice cream in my diet. 


Nope. It never works out like that.

Instead it goes something like this...

The lab results confirmed my suspicions that, in fact, I really do feel like crap for an actual reason that is measurable and quantifiable.

I have not been feeling like myself for several months now...since mid-November. You may not have noticed, and that's good. We animals are masters at hiding illnesses and vulnerabilities. It helps keep us safe from predators.

I've been feeling like this without even doing a hard workout.

And I've been looking like this, too :(

I've felt similarly before... a couple of times. I remember sitting in my OB/GYN's office two years ago. My baby was one year old and I was 47. I was holding two handouts that seemed pertinent and useful (Menopause Facts and Coping with Postpartum Depression), and I was crying when she came into the exam room. I held the booklets out as I turned my tear-streaked face toward her and pleaded, "Which one is me? What do I do?" She looked at them, looked at me, and said, "Wow...Yeah... I guess you really did a number on yourself, eh?" I know that sounds awfully unprofessional, but we have that kind of conversational relationship...which I love. It was at this appointment that anti-depressants were discussed for a second time (we had talked about using them to help with my migraines about two years earlier). This time I took the prescription and filled it.

Following a nightmare break-in period and significant dosage changes, the medication seemed to help immensely, and life held sunshine again. I started running. I was playing with my kids and looking forward to spending time with them. I did the laundry. I got to be ME. Then I started getting the migraines again. My anti-depressant doctor started bitching at me about Imitrex. (I don't like this doctor...she is the opposite of my OB). So I decided to pursue other avenues regarding the migraines.

Enter Neurogistics.

Through all of this earlier stuff, I'd also been seeing an acupuncturist whom I trust implicitly and think the world of. She is my first round of defense when something goes awry. She gave me the information about Neurogistics. Through them, I had a set of neurotransmitter and cortisol level tests performed. Nothing was in the optimal range, and quite notably, serotonin and cortisol were very low. My clinician developed a protocol to boost things up and help my body start doing what it is supposed to when it's healthy and not massively stressed out.

A retest six months later showed that everything was getting to where it was supposed to be. I had a great summer and early fall. I liked being with my kids. I ran. I was feeling so good about my life.

Beginning in mid-November, I began a month-long course of treatment to help with some intestinal issues. Less than a week into it, I knew something was not right. But I also knew that sometimes things get worse before they get better.

Things didn't get better. By Christmas, I was concerned. I retested in early January. It is these results I just received. The results confirming my bad suspicions. Everything is worse than it was the first time I tested. My serotonin level is less than half of the low end of normal. I sent a copy of these numbers to my acupunturist who emailed this in response:

Holy moly ... it's amazing you're so high functioning with your kids and are maintaining a good marriage!! Not that I doubted the struggling you're going through, but this shows on paper the Herculean effort you put into living a normal life. 


I have an appointment with my Neurogistics clinician on Wednesday. I'm hoping she gives me the Magic Bullet that they've been keeping secret. And if those researchers who believe there is no correlation between low serotonin and depression could please let my body in on that news and then tell it what the heck IS happening and how to fix things, I would really appreciate it :)


I just want to live a normal life...without the Herculean effort. Please?