One lump...or two?

Or maybe they're more like humps...

source

After my ambitious and successful workout week capped by my happy birthday celebration (with hoopty cake!), I awoke Monday with a vicious migraine...which I didn't mention in yesterday's post...denial :(  I think I've said before that when I get a migraine (usually once or twice a month) it will last for 2 days. There's nothing I can take or do once it's there except ride it out. Needless to say, I was pissed. I really wanted my awesome last week to serve as a springboard into my training plan. I think the migraine was at least partially responsible for my 5-hour sofa-rafting on Monday.

I was able to somehow rally that evening to go meet one of my climbing partners. It felt good to get off of the sofa and out of the house. I even ran into my oldest stepson at the gym! It was nice to see him...we don't see each other often enough. Anyway... my partner and I climbed for roughly 90 minutes after which I decided to muddle my way through a little bit on the elliptical. Those 30 minutes were probably the clearest I felt that whole day. Take-away from the experience: working out almost always makes you feel better.

When yesterday started off with Day 2 that same nausea-exhaustion-migraine and no hope of holing up in the house all day (I had volunteered to serve as a driver/chaperone for Miss C's preschool trip to the Little Farm), I actually cried. Then I did what I do... I soldiered on. Once home after the field trip, I passed out on the sofa for two hours before I needed to go fetch kids from their schools. I started fretting about my workout while on this drive. "Hills" were what the schedule called for... "6 x hills". For the next couple of hours, I worked out a rationale for bailing on any sort of workout. Then I convinced myself that some StairMaster work could sub in. (Recalling yesterday's take-away). Then I realized that I really wanted to just be outside in the fresh air...but I knew that I didn't have the mental capacity to go up and down any hill "6 x" last night.

Instead I opted to run a hill twice. It's a hill near my home. Quick and easy to get to; long and hard to run. In the past I've  referred to it as 'Honey Badger Hill'? That's because you need to just not give a s*it that it is really f*cking hard and just do it anyway.

Granted it was a run/walk...with walking a good bit less than half of the first trip up and a good bit less than a third of the second trip up. But I did mostly run it. Approximately 4 miles with a 700+ ft. climb over a mile each time up. (See images below). Even with some walking, I'm calling this workout "badass."

Two humps for me, please :)

because I don't know how to take a stretch of uphill on my Garmin read-out and make a mirror image, I must give this image credit to Patrick Mahoney.

one mile up, one mile down, one mile up, one mile down

 

Would whoever took my serotonin please give it back?

At the end of last week I got some information that confirmed my suspicions. Of course they were bad suspicions. Of course... because do we ever have suspicions that are good?

My bank statement confirmed my suspicions. I was indeed rolling in dough and able to live the life of my fantasies.


After reviewing the x-rays and lab tests, the doctor confirmed my suspicions that the pain in my leg was due to a gross lack of chocolate and ice cream in my diet. 


Nope. It never works out like that.

Instead it goes something like this...

The lab results confirmed my suspicions that, in fact, I really do feel like crap for an actual reason that is measurable and quantifiable.

I have not been feeling like myself for several months now...since mid-November. You may not have noticed, and that's good. We animals are masters at hiding illnesses and vulnerabilities. It helps keep us safe from predators.

I've been feeling like this without even doing a hard workout.

And I've been looking like this, too :(

I've felt similarly before... a couple of times. I remember sitting in my OB/GYN's office two years ago. My baby was one year old and I was 47. I was holding two handouts that seemed pertinent and useful (Menopause Facts and Coping with Postpartum Depression), and I was crying when she came into the exam room. I held the booklets out as I turned my tear-streaked face toward her and pleaded, "Which one is me? What do I do?" She looked at them, looked at me, and said, "Wow...Yeah... I guess you really did a number on yourself, eh?" I know that sounds awfully unprofessional, but we have that kind of conversational relationship...which I love. It was at this appointment that anti-depressants were discussed for a second time (we had talked about using them to help with my migraines about two years earlier). This time I took the prescription and filled it.

Following a nightmare break-in period and significant dosage changes, the medication seemed to help immensely, and life held sunshine again. I started running. I was playing with my kids and looking forward to spending time with them. I did the laundry. I got to be ME. Then I started getting the migraines again. My anti-depressant doctor started bitching at me about Imitrex. (I don't like this doctor...she is the opposite of my OB). So I decided to pursue other avenues regarding the migraines.

Enter Neurogistics.

Through all of this earlier stuff, I'd also been seeing an acupuncturist whom I trust implicitly and think the world of. She is my first round of defense when something goes awry. She gave me the information about Neurogistics. Through them, I had a set of neurotransmitter and cortisol level tests performed. Nothing was in the optimal range, and quite notably, serotonin and cortisol were very low. My clinician developed a protocol to boost things up and help my body start doing what it is supposed to when it's healthy and not massively stressed out.

A retest six months later showed that everything was getting to where it was supposed to be. I had a great summer and early fall. I liked being with my kids. I ran. I was feeling so good about my life.

Beginning in mid-November, I began a month-long course of treatment to help with some intestinal issues. Less than a week into it, I knew something was not right. But I also knew that sometimes things get worse before they get better.

Things didn't get better. By Christmas, I was concerned. I retested in early January. It is these results I just received. The results confirming my bad suspicions. Everything is worse than it was the first time I tested. My serotonin level is less than half of the low end of normal. I sent a copy of these numbers to my acupunturist who emailed this in response:

Holy moly ... it's amazing you're so high functioning with your kids and are maintaining a good marriage!! Not that I doubted the struggling you're going through, but this shows on paper the Herculean effort you put into living a normal life. 


I have an appointment with my Neurogistics clinician on Wednesday. I'm hoping she gives me the Magic Bullet that they've been keeping secret. And if those researchers who believe there is no correlation between low serotonin and depression could please let my body in on that news and then tell it what the heck IS happening and how to fix things, I would really appreciate it :)


I just want to live a normal life...without the Herculean effort. Please?

an insane and incongruous five things rant

1. I haven't written much about running or working out for a reason....there's nothing to write about. And that stinks. The only thing to really say about the topic is that I am still trying to adjust to my new shoes and new way of running. Today I have a massive and painful muscle knot in my left calf. I ran 4 miles on Wednesday night (yes, in spite of the marauding burglars on the loose) and did 4 little burst-ish quarters, one each mile, going from a sluggy yet comfy pace of 9:30-10/mile to a brisker yet still comfy-ish pace of 8-8:30/mile. I think the semi-speed work is the culprit because at the end of the 4th quarter thingy, my lower left leg literally stopped working. It didn't hurt and there was nothing to precede this, the leg just stopped working. Such a weird feeling.

2. I've been really struggling lately. Chronic pain is a snarly, rabid bitch that should be put out of her misery. Even though my hip is doing much better, I'm having some weird inflammation issues. I believe my migraines and chilblains are a result of this. I am about to embark on a radical path in an attempt to sort this crap out. And the inflammation issue extends past simply body comfort and on into attitude...meaning that my psyche also feels 'inflamed'. More than a weird feeling, this piece of my life just sucks right now...plain and simple. More on the 'radical path' as I begin it.

3. Seems like I've seen the term "no excuses" a lot lately. Maybe I'm imagining this because I am in a compromised condition...again... and starting to feel like I'm making excuses and so feel guilty or some such crap about that. But is "I really HURT" a valid 'excuse'? Or how about "I really want to hang out with my family"? I guess I just wish people were more sensitive about how they toss around terms like that. Or maybe I just need to turn a deaf ear. Probably the latter.

4. The Olympics. I think because it is a summer Olympics year and the hype has begun, I've been thinking about how different things are now as compared to when I was younger. I miss the amateur angle of The Games. Sure, the Easter Bloc countries used to have athlete 'factories' and some countries subsidized their athletes as a way of trying to gain a stranglehold on the medals. And guess what? Non-subsidized and non-factory-farmed athletes still won. Maybe not as much, but they still did medal and sometimes win. Four-time Olympic gold medalist in the discus, Al Oerter, was one of these amateurs... enthralled with the joy of competing and the journey...

After visiting an Olympic training facility in the 1990s, Oerter rendered his judgment of the professionalism that has subverted the amateurism of his day. According to the New York Times, he lamented, "I saw these athletes in their 30s training full time....That's their life. What happened to the rest of it? I'm happy that I had a normal life, with a career and family. That makes a person whole."

source

Al Oerter, 1971

This is not to say that I am down on professional athletes and professional sports...I just wish the Olympics had been kept 'pure'. Furthermore, I do think there is a difference in subsidizing athletes' living expenses by creating programs like OJOP (which I don't see as an egregious violation of amateurism) as compared to allowing NBA players and track stars with multimillion-dollar endorsement contracts and race winnings in excess of five or six figures to compete (clearly not a shred of amateurism in that). Additionally, I think the doping issues would have been nearly non-existent had there been no massive monetary gain. The Olympics seem now more about money and fame than anything else, and that is sad to me.

5. This descent into crackpot-ness has nothing to do with the burglars. I'm pretty much over that...mostly because nothing near and dear to my heart was harmed or taken. I learned a solid lesson that I am taking with me as I move on. As long as my little people are safe, I'm basically good. 

Even if I am a crackpot. Which I won't be for long. It's a phase. I think.

Fortunately...Unfortunately...

When I was a kid, I read this book. It was about good luck going bad and then turning back to good again. Right now, I feel like I am living that book. And y'all are super lucky... this is the second day in a row in which I share a really gross picture :)

Fortunately, I figured out that sticking my feet into baggies of grated potatoes would ease my chilblains, which are often a precursor to a migraine.

Unfortunately, the migraine materialized anyway :(

Fortunately, it isn't crippling, driving-me-to-my-bed bad.

Unfortunately, it makes me feel super nauseated, and I am running 13.1 miles on Sunday.

Fortunately, Sunday is three days away and my migraines tend to last only 2 days!

Unfortunately, one of those days is supposed to be a fun-filled day in Las Vegas (did I mention that I am running in Las Vegas?).

Fortunately, I will be able to relax with my headache alone in my nice hotel room...without my kids demanding on me!

Unfortunately, I will actually miss them.

Fortunately, we found something really gross in Miss C's hair last night and I was still home to assist with it's removal...

did you just throw up a little? 

Unfortunately, I discovered last night that I am really squeamish when it comes to removing bugs attached to my very small child :P

Fortunately, my husband was game to perform the extraction while I held her... she was amazingly cooperative...which...

Unfortunately, leads me to believe that it was really bothering her :(

Fortunately, we are seeing no bullseye thing on her head or other signs of Lyme Disease. That's a really big 'fortunately.'

So there are no more 'unfortunatelys'... isn't that AWESOME!!!

I'm going to share a little secret now...

I have never been to Las Vegas. I have never wanted to go to Las Vegas...except to see The Strip at night. I was thinking that someday I'd take a road trip that would include a quick nighttime drive-thru of The Strip...that way I wouldn't have to deal with any of the other Vegas-y crap. Nothing I've heard about it or seen in print or film appeals to me. Maybe my mind will be changed when I experience it for myself in the flesh. I registered for this race because of The Strip at Night component...and because some of my fave Nuun buddies will be there...I had a ton of fun with Jess and Tricia and Kim and Caitlin back in the good, ol' Hood to Coast Relay days :) Despite my indifference for Sin City, I am super-stoked to be going.

How do you feel about Vegas? Is your feeling based on actual experience or impressions?


Do you have a Fortunately/Unfortunately story to share?

Pre-Race Ramblings... Long Beach Half-Marathon

As someone who posts every single day (not because I think people want me to but because I need to or my brain might explode), it may seem curious that I have not posted anything since Thursday... which was our first bloggiversary. Worse than a Paper Anniversary like a first wedding anniversary, this proved to be the Zippo Bloggiversary as I did nothing at all of a celebratory nature.

I plan to fix that next week. And boy, o, boy have I got a prize for you :) But it's a surprise still.

Why have I not posted for the past two whole days? And did my brain, in fact, explode? 

Answer to the first question:  I have been majorly tweaking about this race tomorrow. Majorly. All week. Some people picked up on it, and they were worried. It was suggested that I get myself pulled together. I've been working on that.

Which brings us to the second question:  While my brain did not, in fact, explode, I did get a whopper of a migraine. I woke up with it Friday, and it finally started to subside this afternoon. It was so bad that I pretty much didn't sleep last night... which was good in a way because I had an early flight this morning. The pain is nearly gone now (7 p.m.)... whew. Running 13.1 miles in the heat and the sun with a migraine does not sound like an enjoyable Sunday morning activity at all.

saying my good-byes at the airport...

I am OUTTA HERE!

 Whoops... did the kids see that?

It was an uneventful flight... which is almost always a good thing. The woman next to me had two trashmags that I got to read over her shoulder. As my headache was still quite active, I didn't get to do as much of that as I would have liked, but it was still enough for her to sense it, I think :P

We arrived in Long Beach at its cute little airport. Seriously, it's like from a different era. I love it. I caught the shuttle and was given the guided tour to the hotel. The driver was quite possibly the most eager person to ever drive an airport shuttle. That means he talked non-stop :)

After checking into the hotel and getting directions to the Expo, I set off. The front desk chick did not know what she was talking about. She sent me the wrong long way... all the way around the entire perimeter of the Long Beach Convention Center... which is huge! Following these wacky directions, I ended up going through the loading dock area and service entrance. I kept thinking to myself, "This is a really weird Convention Center... aren't they usually 'inviting' and sort of grandiose?"

The Expo itself was a zoo. I guess the 'good' ones usually are, right? So I got my number and my bag and my shirt and braved the masses. I had fun chatting with the Spi Guy. And yeah, I bought one of his Spibelts. He was sort of irresistible.

When I left the building I found the inviting way...

and the grandiose way...

image source

...which was directly across the street from my danged hotel! And now I know how to get to the starting line in less than 45 minutes...lol. 

I went back to the hotel and spent the early afternoon lying around, being bummed that I had a headache and no free in-room wifi in my awesomely comfortable digs. I may have fallen asleep. Then I ran out to meet sweet Giraffy and her equally nice husband at the Expo. We wandered together through the madness and then walked over to scope out the starting area. We were all struck by the huge horseshoe-shaped Port-a-potty corral. It was huge. She took a picture of it that may or may not appear on her blog. Did I mention that it was huge?

Before they left to go home, they pointed me in the direction of the Promenade where there are a bunch of restaurants. I meandered over that way and passed some cool fountains...

and then found what I felt like eating... 

image source

I have never been to a Johnny Rockets before, but when I saw 'burger' I started getting hungry for the first time since this headache started.

I started my meal with this...

...which I haven't had in forEVER.

And this was what I ate...

there is a burger wrapped in that paper.

I contemplated but passed on this...

Deluxe Shakes Menu

click on the photo to biggify and see all the amazing combos that I resisted.

What elevated this meal beyond all expectations was the truly awesome service. The three people behind the counter were engaged and engaging... both with the customers and each other. They seemed to enjoy working together and doing what they were doing. While I was eating, a number of 'regulars' came in... the old-timey, friendly, "hey-how-you-doing-tonight?" was a total pleasure to be around. They were pleasantly chatting and working at the same time. Prepping, serving, cleaning, cooking... all with smiles and attention and care. I watched as Adan literally crafted a grilled cheese sandwich. It didn't take him forever to do it... it was quick but with attention and pride. It is so rare to find this anywhere nowadays, but I found it at Johnny Rockets in Long Beach, California :)

Many, many thanks to 

Shawn, Becky, and Adan!

If you're ever in Long Beach, California and looking for an awesome diner with amazing-looking shakes and tasty burgers... Johnny Rockets is your place :)

We'll have to wait and see tomorrow how it does as a pre-race meal ... 

Now it's time for bed. Let's hope that my earplugs help silence the 'ambient' noises of crying babies and live bands that I can hear right now yet DO NOT prevent me from hearing my wake-up call or my alarm! 

Here's to fast dreams and fast running :)

My New Best Friend

Please bear with me while I pull together the last installment of "You Ask, I Answer"... the fabulous Q & A game that bares all, tells all. (Answers vol. 1, vol. 2. and vol. 3 can be found by clicking on those numbers). The video is just boring and long, and I am figuring out how to spice it up and make it interesting and entertaining. I hope to debut it on Monday, at which point I will also announce the Nuun winners :)


In the meantime...

I would like to introduce you to my new best friend...

This is her good side.

She's doesn't have a whole lot going on on the inside.

My physical therapist introduced us. She goes by the name The Grid... click on it to read her specs. What I love about her more than other foam rollers are the following:

• the little ridges and groove things make it hurt more while rolling, thus making me hurt less after,
• no deforming over time... my other roller started looking like an hourglass, and
• the hollow, PVC-pipe core make her easier to take on trips... I can pack stuff inside of her so she really doesn't take up a whole lot of space in the bag/suitcase.

She and I have been spending a lot of time together since I was rear-ended a week ago Tuesday. I do believe she is helping get me back to running sooner than if we hadn't met. She wasn't cheap... but she's worth it ... and so am I :)

So... yep... haven't really run in over a week. It sucks. I did get a little, easy 3-miler in on Tuesday. I was going to run yesterday, but I was slammed by a migraine that sent me to bed at 7:30 (about 5 hours earlier than normal... and before my normal running window of opportunity). I hope the headache lifts enough by this evening so that I can log a few miles. I am working on my patience big time. I don't want to be a DASA.  I know that waiting until I don't feel off-kilter and bound up will pay off. And I know that not waiting will come back to haunt me... so I wait.

I've gotten a couple of bike rides in... one early enough in the evening that I was able to take these cool pictures...

At the southern end of my ride that day was an old city dump. 

People make all kinds of interesting things out of found objects

(read: junk)

This little amphitheater-ish thingy is one such creation.

There is a community of 'homeless' squatters who live in lean-tos and tents in the near vicinity...

I think they have little bonfire parties in this amphitheater sometimes.

At the northern end of my ride was the Rosie the Riveter Memorial...

These structures are an artist's rendition of ship-building...

I think this is the bow...

this may or may not be the part in the middle of the ship where the control guys hang out

(my Love Boat-watching self seems to think this was called the 'bridge')

and in the distance, out over the water, is the stern.

But I may have the bow and stern reversed :P

There are a whole lot of commemorative pavers between the bow and stern...

below are three of them...

Fascinating stuff, history. 

World War II, the war efforts and the ship-building industry are largely why my mom's side of the family wound up in these parts.

A less experienced athlete and younger person might be getting super duper agitated by needing to sit out for two weeks when in the middle of training for a half-marathon AND getting ready for a rapidly-approaching team event like the Hood to Coast Relay... stressing about letting her Nuun Platuun down. Well, I know that I will be much more likely to perform at my highest level by taking care of this pain biz NOW. I'll come back fresh and feisty... raring to go... Commando, I am :)

On the parenting front, I am struggling. My kids fight a lot. I know I need to get more authoritative with them... but I have been doing this for 16 years and am feeling a trifle burnt out. 

I just found out that my 6-year old has been going across the street to play Halo video games. We don't have video games over here... long story involving my stepsons, and husband hurling the nintendo down the street into the vacant lot to get them to finally stop needing to be glued to the darn thing. So Q-Man has been having nightmares and lots of separation anxieties lately... thanks, Halo. I just read the parental reviews on that one. What are those neighbor parents thinking? Clearly not what I'm thinking :P No more video games for now.

Baby X begged to go to another session of camp. She loves it so much. She has her father's awesome social streak. Lucky her :)

Big G is reading like the reading fiend he is. And fighting with his younger siblings. 

Miss C is into anything and everything. She can climb all the safety gates... they are now just decorative. She has figured out how to bust the doorknob covers off so can enter any room she wishes whenever she wants. She learned to push the chair over to and climb up on the kitchen counter to access the upper cupboards, where the cookies and chocolate live. She has started biting! Even herself! And now she likes to slide down the bannister...

But she gets stuck at the bottom. And screams.

Here's hoping for lovely weather for us all, enjoyable and healthy exercise, relaxing family moments and world peace :)

Wishing you all a wonderful weekend!

What's going on with my running?

Wha' happen?

Things were going so well. I had some pretty good long runs. Did an awesome (for me) 5K virtual race. Had a nice run two days after that. Then I took the weekend off. Three days off, actually. I planned to run on Monday. And I was constipated. That's oversharing, isn't it? But we're buds, so it's okay, right?

It was so bad.

I tried to run on Monday night. I did make it for 3 miles...hoping the whole time that there might be some 'movement' *wink,wink*  but there wasn't :(  And the next day I got a migraine that lasted until Thursday :(  Woe is me. Really.

It was so bad.

I was clinging to reality by my fingernails for a while there.  Clinging.  Fingernails.  Luckily, by Saturday morning things started smoothing out.  And moving out. get what I'm sayin'?  And today I felt a whole lot better... but I am still emerging from a migraine/constipation haze.  sounds lovely, doesn't it?

The plan now is to run on Tuesday...unless a window of opportunity miraculously presents itself tomorrow... which is not likely.  And I am OKAY with this.  :)

In the meantime, this kid is picking up my running slack:

She had been going for a while before I started filming. And she kept going after I stopped.

This girl is go go go... all. the. time.

I am looking forward to getting back on track with my training... and so glad that my race isn't until mid-May :P

How's your training going... if you're training, that is?

What's next on your Big Event Agenda... be it running or something besides running?  Do you think you'll be ready?