10 December 2011

Against my better judgment...


I ran last night.

btw... you can spell that with or without an "e" after the "g"...

It wasn't the running per se that was against my better judgment, but anything that is triggered by being pissed off at a Peppermint Mocha Frappuccino that one didn't even consume smacks of imprudence.

I was low and dark and edgy last night. Sounds attractive if you're a goth, but I am a suburban housewife and mom of 4 kids so it was playing to the wrong audience. I didn't want to run. I didn't want to sleep. I didn't want to watch a silly movie that might make me laugh or 'feel good'. I wanted a darn Peppermint Mocha Frappuccino. But most of all, I wanted to effortlessly stop feeling cruddy.

Feeling impulsive, compulsive, and irrational were a part of last night's toxic petri dish that spawned an idea. A running idea. Running always makes one feel better, right? But I was pissed that I had to do something to feel better...but I also know that's how things work. So I decided that I needed to go for a run that would show running just how pissed off I was that I had to actually do it to feel better. Are you following any of this? As you can see, it seems to have not worked perfectly...only mellowed things a very wee bit...kind of...maybe.

I told my Faster Bunny friend about my poorly-thought-out plan. She said I should go for it and even gave me a little plan...which, even though I am a race plan goddess, was awesome because I really needed a sanity-injection. Of course, her plan within my plan was insane. Okay, fine. They were both insane.

I ran a mile.

As fast as I could. yes, I warmed up...I was low but not stupid.

The first quarter was exhilarating. The second...not so much. As is usually the case, the third was the opposite of exhilarating. And the final quarter was redemption.

Repeating a common theme, I missed my mark by a teeny bit. As I started to spiral back down into my feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness (yes, I am premenstrual...of course), somehow I was able to convince my lame-ass self that 7:01 is pretty okay. And that 7:01 is a lot faster than 7:24. It is real testament to my mood that I am dissatisfied with 7:01 and was beyond elated with 7:24 (you should read that recap). I suppose I should be thankful that I didn't need to stop at Denny's in the middle of it :P

Capping off my evening of depressing insanity, I decided to register for the 2012 San Francisco Bay to Breakers. Jeeez, it's all starting to sound like some kind of pathetic runner's bender...next I'll be saying that I guzzled gallons of Nuun and mainlined GU...

Now that I have all this 'missing the mark' business behind me, time start training for some 'bettering the mark' experiences. I am so ready for that.

21 comments:

  1. yes 7:01 is sorta ok ... I only ran a 9:08 today in my race and that made me the fastest wannabe in the world right now

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  2. I would have went for the frappacino. Maybe that is why I can't get rid of this baby belly...

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  3. First of all, in my book, not drowning your sorrows in that frappucino was a huge victory. Second, 7:01?? holy shit that's fast.

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  4. Yesterday, it was all I could do not to fall off a treadmill doing 12 min miles. 7:01 is AWESOME! I suspected the PMS, but knew better than to ask. (((HUGS))) and feel better (mentally) soon.

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  5. The day I run a 7:01 mile is the day I'm being chased by serial killers and I've finally decided I can't outsmart them. Wow. Great time even if it's a low evil sort of way.... :)

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  6. Birds eat it,
    Ants love it,
    Fowls eat it,
    Goats love to play with it
    So you've got to

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  7. I am the same way-- craving sweet junk when I'm feeling blah. Way to go combatting it with a fast mile! Hope you keep feeling better...

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  8. Sorry you're feeling so off. I'm very impressed with your 7:01. PMS is a bitch and just kills me, I go insane! I hope you're feeling better soon. Have you run Bay to Breakers before? I know people who do it every year (although it's hubs ex-wife so I can't say it's a friend...).

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  9. "mainlined GU"
    Is it bad that I'm in hysterics laughing at this post?

    I know.
    I know.
    The blues suck.
    (Especially when you're in such a funk that you can't revel in a 7:01 mile!)

    But you make blue days funnier than almost anyone on the interwebs. That's gotta' count for something, right?

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  10. You were flying!!! Just remember you are not your mood. You are an amazing woman, a mother, a wife, a homemaker, a runner and you do so much good! You'll be over this slump soon! Sending you lots of hugs!

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  11. 7.01 sounds pretty freaking good to me. Bring on some winter training and turn those goals into plans.

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  12. I would be really happy with 7:01!

    I hope you start to feel better soon! I hate when I get moody, I usually take it out on my husband :( poor guy.

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  13. that is an awesome mile time! i haven't run one that fast all year!

    secondly, yay for bay to breakers. so fun.

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  14. 7.01 is really fast! I need running to keep me sane (which is a bad thing for everyone around me right now since I have a tendon that is pissing me the hell off and not cooperating) - but I find distance makes me feel better than speed. Maybe because I suck at speed!

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  15. Woohooo, look at your speed! You are ROCKING it, chica! Nice, nice, nice!!!!

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  16. That is really fast!
    I hate those anxious kind of moments where you feel like you have to do SOMETHING!

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  17. Um, girl you are AMAZING!!! 7:01 is AWESOME!

    PS So glad you didn't have a stop at denny's again:) Sorry about that mood of yours two days ago!

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  18. 7:01. Why the hell are you knocking yourself for that? That's an AMAZING time! Buck up young one, that's a great mile...now go reward yourself with Starbucks.

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  19. Hope your weekend helped ease your blues. Way to rock a speedy mile, even if it left you feeling unsatisfied. Had you gone with the drink you would have merely been bouncing off the walls with built up caffeine and negative energy. :) You chose the wise path. Hang in there.

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  20. You crack me up!! Get pissed off before a 5K and kill it will you?

    Now I want a frappucino..

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  21. I think I am pissy everyday but for some reason its not helping my speed, haha!

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