14 February 2012

The Things I Learn While Brushing My Teeth

Conversation in the bathroom this morning between Big G and me while we were brushing our teeth:

Me:  If you could have any mythical creature for your very own, what would you pick?

G:  You mean what would be my personal preference...or what would be the conventional choice?

Me:  You...your preference.

G:  Okay...well, you know the conventional choice would be a unicorn. Everyone just loves the idea of them being magical and thinks they're all sweet and docile.

Me:  Right...I figure most people would say "unicorn" without thinking twice.

G:  Well, mom... unicorns were dangerous creatures. They were NOT nice...unless you were a young maiden. They really were only interested in 13-year old maidens. Or red-haired ladies of any age. They were drawn to purity...and they thought 13-year old maidens and red-haired ladies were pure...or something like that. If you were a male, they would run and hide because the only reason males generally approached them was to capture them or kill them, so those guys usually lured unicorns out using 13-year old maidens as bait.  

Note: cloven hooves, goat beard and lion tail...the real deal.

And you know, unicorns were NOT just like horses with a long horn sticking out of their foreheads. They had the body and head of a horse, the legs of a deer, the tail of a lion, and a goat's beard...oh, and the big, long horn...duh. They tended to be aggressive toward lions...I don't know why. And griffins... because griffins were very leonine. 

For myself, I would pick an
Ammit.

Me:  What the heck is an Ammit?

G:  An Ammit is an Egyptian mythological creature around the size of a small dog...has the head of a crocodile, the front body of a lion, the back half of a hippo. It devours the souls of the damned...I figure that might be good to have around. We probably wouldn't have any trouble with burglars again.



Or I might want a Kirin, which is a chinese-slash-japanese version of a unicorn...it appears in both cultures but with different spellings. Body of a deer or an ox, covered in carp scales and with a deer's antlers...the chinese version has a dragon's head. It's a symbol of good fortune and good times...if you cross paths with a Kirin, it means things will be going your way...and people looked to the Kirin to help with fertility, both people and crops. They're very gentle...unless you're bad...and then, well, look out





At which point he spit, rinsed, spit again, dried off his mouth and left. His teeth might not have been super clean, but ...holy crap...was I schooled or what?

Oh, and he ran by himself yesterday! I couldn't accompany him because my husband was out and we couldn't leave the younger three home alone, so he said, "I should just go do it without you." And off he went, in his new real running shoes and wearing my Garmin. Our lack of mythological discussion while running is probably what prompted this morning's seminar :)

How much do you know about all the various mythologies? 

I thought I was fairly well-informed. My kid puts me to shame.

32 comments:

  1. bahaaha, I know NOTHING. this is all new to me. Unicorns, dangerous? Well, I'll be! I soooooo have it on my agenda to get caught up with you soon Marjorie. I've been a bad bad bad blogger and your blog is one the top of my list to read as soon as I get some blogging time. Miss you.

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  2. I absoltely LOVE this post. For me, it's the things I learn after I turn out the lights, and lay down (in theory, for "just a few minutes" to get the kids to sleep; in reality, I end up sleeping with my kids WAY more than my husband). Also, the use of "holy crap" (which offended my raised Catholic, now proclaimed aesthist husband) was just TOO good! G should really be Laurent's best friend. . . .

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  3. Yeah, the creature that the Unicorn myth is based on, the Urus, was a regular ball buster. Tougher than Russell Crowe in The Gladiator for sure. No doubt.

    I personally believe in the power of the Jakalope.

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  4. Woah. That is some serious knowledge of mythical creatures. Quite impressive. If I ever get into serious mythical creature debate I know just who to call for backup.

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  5. WoW! That's was very interesting, but I am not going to try to repeat it unless I go back and take some notes before sharing!

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  6. I love this. These kids always surprise me with the info they have. Kind of bummed about the unicorn though. I still want to believe the good stuff....
    Exciting about your son's run. I love how he put the garmin on!

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  7. I'm with Amanda!! I know nothing!!! What a fascinating conversation with your smartie!!

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  8. wow I am impressed, maybe since I am a redhead I should go and try to find one. not sure I am all that pure though..hmm

    Never heard of the other ones, interesting and what a smart kid you have!

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  9. I'm going to have to let my oldest who is 12 read this post...he is Very into mythical creatures and greek mythology...he would get a kick out of this and he schools me all the time!

    Actually, the older all 3 of them get...the more schooled I become...in so many more ways than one:)

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  10. Holy crap! Schooled is right?!!? I know absolutely nothing about mythical creatures... I guess I have a hard enough time keeping up with the stuff that's real! LOL

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  11. That Big G is something else. Loved this story.

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  12. Wow, that is a lot of info for the morning. Super cute. I don't know much, but I did just finish reading a boot to my little guy which involved Jackolopes. It was a really fun story.

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  13. Honestly I hadn't really thought much about mythical creatures -- but now I'm interested. And the stuff on Unicorns -- who knew?

    How did he do on his mile test? Or hasn't that happened yet?

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  14. Wow, I didn't know that unicorns were made up of so many other animals. I just learned something, thanks! I used to love unicorns when I was little, but I think I would pick a pegasus since they could fly:) I am impressed your son went on his own. Great job G!

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  15. I knew about the unicorn, but I've never heard of the others. Holy cow, that kid knows his stuff!

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  16. My kids have a fascination with all things Asian, so I knew about the Kirin... but the rest of that was news to me. Hilarious. Your kids crack me up.

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  17. Love learning new things from kids:)

    I sometimes send out the kids by themselves for a run (around the block) when I need some quiet from their bickering:)

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  18. Oh my Lord, that is downright precious! Haha!! Very cool :) And kudos to him for taking the running thing into his own hands!!!!

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  19. WOW, that's a pretty sophisticated conversation. My teeth brushing conversations go something like "mmmm hhmm, uhhmm" while I point at my mouth full of toothpaste :)

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  20. You're a much more in tuned mother than I....all I have the strength in the morning to do is ask, "Are you SURE your homework is done?"

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  21. Thank GOODNESS you were able to share the true facts about these creatures. Reminds me of the time my daughter scoffed at the drivel my husband and I were sharing about vampires. "Mom, get it straight. The REAL facts about vampires are ..." Ah haaa we laughed so hard. Oh, my daughter was 16 at the time. I think the irony was still past her for a bit. (K)

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  22. I'm not much on mythological creatures, so I learned something from your blog today!

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  23. oh my good lord that is too freaking funny, love it!

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  24. Very educational post :-). That's more words than my teenager says to me in a month!

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  25. Is your husband saying redheads were most likely maidens at any age?! I don't know much about these creatures and would not choose a unicorn. I will do some googling and get back to you on this one...

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  26. Well, if I were to choose among the three, I'd choose Kirin because it is considered as a holy creature and is placed above all mythological creatures. It can also live up to a millennium!

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  27. I don't know jack apparently either. Your son also just schooled me. Smart boy!!!

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  28. This is a very historical topic that you learned while brushing. Well, actually I would pick the unicorn, as that's what I loved to listen to when I was growing up. I would love to see their brilliant, shiny white skin.

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  29. I agree with Fred. This is a good topic while brushing your teeth. I mean, kids love this kind of conversation; it can make them brush their teeth a little longer compared when they are alone. That being said, the longer you brush your teeth, the cleaner your teeth will be. This consequently prevents cavities from damaging your teeth.

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  30. Fred and Nannie have a point. It would be nice to always have certain topics whenever you and your son would brush your teeth. In that way, you could even make him develop good brushing habits that would prevent him from developing cavities.

    Avis Charland

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