Miss Congeniality? Maybe. Miss Photogenic? Never!

Ever notice how some people always look good in pictures? I mean regular people...not photoshopped, over-made-up supermodels or movie stars. Some people even look good in their race photos! I am not one of these people. While I've never looked as bad as some people do when they're racing, this weekend finally yielded race photos where I don't look scared sh!tless or like I'm about to puke...

The only thing I'm really not loving about these pictures (other than the fact that black is not appearing to be very slimming) is the bizarre underarm fat undulation thing going on... see it? I know you didn't necessarily see it until just now when I pointed it out, but now you do, right? I am posting three nearly identical pictures so that you can see it. I think it's a carry-over from the armpit vagina thing I had going on before. I thought it was the scar from my lung surgery, but that's on the other side. 

Fat undulation... 's'what it is.

I could bring the elbows in a little tighter, but I've got a good 'ZoneFace' going on there. And my BICBands headband did an amazing job of keeping the Einstein hair at bay ;-)  I do wish they'd gotten a good shot of how my foot hits the pavement so I could verify my new footstrike (or not), but they didn't. My feet look to be doing a little splay action as they push off and then draw through, but things look pretty good for coming into the finish.

And here are the frightening images of races gone by for the sake of comparison...

Looking miserable last fall in Long Beach...

How can we only be 6 miles into this thing? 

see?... scared shitless.

And then there was Vegas...

early on in the race...

ooooo...cleavage :)

...and will ya look at the bottom of that shoe? 

Example: lost art of slamming all of one's body weight into the heel-most edge of one's running shoe.

I really want you to see the bottom of my shoe!

And though I look like I'm about to puke, I totally chicked the guy in the red shirt.

I think it's a guy.

And see that chick in the orange behind me on the left? here's a story I forgot from that race...

She was super pissed at me. I was running behind her starting right after the Incident at Denny's. I paced off of her while I got my post-evacuatory bearings. At one water stop (or rather, nastyass bacterial refueling stop) we were side by side and I said something really obnoxious but not intending to be...something like "I'm planning on sucking the life out of you by letting you drag my depleted, sorry ass all the rest of the way in this stupid, god-forsaken race." I didn't use those exact words, but it must've been something similar because she glared real live daggers at me. And then about three miles later I had myself pulled together...right about here where this picture was taken...and I smoked her ass. Well, I passed her anyway. I guess a 9-minute mile pace isn't really capable of 'smoking' someone's ass.

This is my "You finished up at Denny's. There's nothing left in there. It is all in your imagination. There is no possible way there is anything left in your system. You do not need to stop for any reason. Keep running. Do not pick up those quarters you are looking at in the street or whatever it is down there that is so freaking interesting...and how can you not see that HAI-YA karate kick thing you're doing, you heel-striking hip-injurer, you?" face. In case you couldn't tell.

Do you take good race photos? Are you photogenic in non-athletic situations?

– I am quite possibly one of the least photogenic people ever...when sporty or regular. But I think that the photos look like I do in real life...so yeah...kind of a bummer. Especially when you have an awesome photographer for a husband. 

Do you wear make-up when you race and/or work out?

– Hahahahahahhahahaha! Unless you count cherry Chapstick as make-up, I never wear make-up. Ever. I don't even know what to do with it :P