08 February 2012

Miss Congeniality? Maybe. Miss Photogenic? Never!

Ever notice how some people always look good in pictures? I mean regular people...not photoshopped, over-made-up supermodels or movie stars. Some people even look good in their race photos! I am not one of these people. While I've never looked as bad as some people do when they're racing, this weekend finally yielded race photos where I don't look scared sh!tless or like I'm about to puke...

The only thing I'm really not loving about these pictures (other than the fact that black is not appearing to be very slimming) is the bizarre underarm fat undulation thing going on... see it? I know you didn't necessarily see it until just now when I pointed it out, but now you do, right? I am posting three nearly identical pictures so that you can see it. I think it's a carry-over from the armpit vagina thing I had going on before. I thought it was the scar from my lung surgery, but that's on the other side. 

Fat undulation... 's'what it is.

I could bring the elbows in a little tighter, but I've got a good 'ZoneFace' going on there. And my BICBands headband did an amazing job of keeping the Einstein hair at bay ;-)  I do wish they'd gotten a good shot of how my foot hits the pavement so I could verify my new footstrike (or not), but they didn't. My feet look to be doing a little splay action as they push off and then draw through, but things look pretty good for coming into the finish.

And here are the frightening images of races gone by for the sake of comparison...

Looking miserable last fall in Long Beach...

How can we only be 6 miles into this thing? 

see?... scared shitless.

And then there was Vegas...

early on in the race...
ooooo...cleavage :)
...and will ya look at the bottom of that shoe? 
Example: lost art of slamming all of one's body weight into the heel-most edge of one's running shoe.

I really want you to see the bottom of my shoe!
And though I look like I'm about to puke, I totally chicked the guy in the red shirt.
I think it's a guy.

And see that chick in the orange behind me on the left? here's a story I forgot from that race...

She was super pissed at me. I was running behind her starting right after the Incident at Denny's. I paced off of her while I got my post-evacuatory bearings. At one water stop (or rather, nastyass bacterial refueling stop) we were side by side and I said something really obnoxious but not intending to be...something like "I'm planning on sucking the life out of you by letting you drag my depleted, sorry ass all the rest of the way in this stupid, god-forsaken race." I didn't use those exact words, but it must've been something similar because she glared real live daggers at me. And then about three miles later I had myself pulled together...right about here where this picture was taken...and I smoked her ass. Well, I passed her anyway. I guess a 9-minute mile pace isn't really capable of 'smoking' someone's ass.

This is my "You finished up at Denny's. There's nothing left in there. It is all in your imagination. There is no possible way there is anything left in your system. You do not need to stop for any reason. Keep running. Do not pick up those quarters you are looking at in the street or whatever it is down there that is so freaking interesting...and how can you not see that HAI-YA karate kick thing you're doing, you heel-striking hip-injurer, you?" face. In case you couldn't tell.

Do you take good race photos? Are you photogenic in non-athletic situations?

I am quite possibly one of the least photogenic people ever...when sporty or regular. But I think that the photos look like I do in real life...so yeah...kind of a bummer. Especially when you have an awesome photographer for a husband. 

Do you wear make-up when you race and/or work out?

Hahahahahahhahahaha! Unless you count cherry Chapstick as make-up, I never wear make-up. Ever. I don't even know what to do with it :P


  1. Okay, I don't think you look bad in any of those photos. I look super hideous in all race photos then embarrass myself further by posting them on my blog. I don't usually wear much makeup when I run because I sweat way too much and am afraid of what that would look like.

  2. haha! I heart you.
    You look like a super hero in all black. Or maybe just a race ninja. Although I'm not sure a ninja should ever be called "just" a ninja, wouldn't you agree?
    LOVE the story about blowing past the chick in orange! And when you said you chicked the guy in the red shirt, I wondered the same thing..."IS that a guy?" Who knows...

  3. I think you are being hyper critical. Those are not bad photos at all.

    I always wear sunglasses to make my face look less, um, stressed.

    And I'm with you on the make up. The only time I ever wore any was on my wedding day. And even then, someone else applied it.

  4. no make up for me for races
    and if I wear any it is only eyeliner.. actually cannot remember last time I bought some

    pictures..well I cannot say for my own...some are ok I guess...some are horrible

    I think your recent ones are pretty good...I mean you are RUNNING it should look like it is not that easy!! :)

  5. Well... there was that one 10k through the mud... I don't think those pics could EVER be bad :). I think I'm 50/50. It's Russian Roulette. Will I pull this picture off or not? Running or not. I think you're beautiful in every shot.

  6. I think you look great in your pictures! I guess my race pictures are ok but not fantastic. I just love the idea that pictures are taken so that I have proof that I did actually race! You're awesome!!! I love your stories!

  7. I've only done 5K's and I NEVER get a good picture of myself mostly because I am blocked or too far away for anyone to tell its me! I'm doing my first 1/2 in April and I am crossing my fingers that I will have a good picture!!

  8. Those pix aren't bad at all!! I've seen so much worse! LOL. I never wear makeup running - except maybe if I'm coming from somewhere and forgot to take it off. I've got a couple bad bad pix out there that I care not to share! lol

  9. Your photos are fine. Mine blow.

    In fact I just took a series of 6 or 7 photos (shirtless) on the trainer I'm going to annoy everyone with in the next couple days.

  10. I'm still giggling at "Einstein Hair" - love it. :)

    I don't "do" photos, let alone race photos. Just... no.

  11. These are not bad pictures at all! I never wear makeup to work out or run and my race photos are always awkward!

  12. You look really focused, those are great pictures really!! I especially like the all black attire with the super fast ruby red shoes!! Sweeeeet!

    Um, you don't have underarm flab...if you want to see underarm flab, come over to my house, I got some to show ya!!

  13. I think your race pics look good! Funny about the arm pit jiggle. Reminds me of a race cold race I did and ended up with gloves and my IT band strap in my front pockets. The race pics were like 10 in a row with my shorts jumping to the left and to the right like I'm running from the cops after shop lifting all the socks from Walmart :-). I'll try to dig them up and post them.

  14. No one will admit to looking good in race photos...maybe shamans Flanagan and that's it.

    Love the story....I would have glared with daggers too, out of confusion, cause I have no idea what that sentence means...

  15. I don't think those are bad race photos. You look very strong and confident. And you look pretty darn good for someone "our" age! :)

  16. Girl you are rocking it! I only wish I had those long legs!!

    I do wear makeup on race days but train without.

  17. You look fly! I don't know what you are talking about??? I don't understand technical stuff like foot striking, but you don't look hideous. AT ALL.

    I'm so glad you beat that dagger throwing hooker. ;)

  18. Your photos make mine look good. I think I have a normal stride until I see my pics. Apparently I shake my ass when I walk AND run. My hip is always thrown out to one side. I always look like I'm dying. THus, I have only bought a couple of pics from races past.

  19. You are too funny! You have no underarm shake going on! You look fit and trim and going strong!!!

  20. I actually look pretty decent in the photos from my first tri (except the one where I am trudging out of the water after the swim - thankfully no race number on yet so it doesn't show up with my other "good" photos). But I've come to believe that I must not have been suffering enough. Just lollygagging through at the back of the pack. LOL

  21. I'm gonna agree with everyone else that your pictures are not bad. I clicked your link to The Boring Runner's post, and those....those are some bad race photos! That was hilarious.

    what armpit fat undulation? I think you're seeing things...

  22. I definitely see improvements in the recent pics, Einstein! First, you didn't look scared shitless, and second, Einstein must be on vacation that day. lol

    Nah, I think you looked pretty good! Whereas that guy (??) in red... ROTF.

    Then again, I might not be the best judge here. I'm nowhere near photogenic in any way. Forget while doing sports. Even on my 'best' days, my neutral face tend to inspire fear in others. *sigh*

  23. You don't look bad at all! I've definitely had worse pictures but we are after all our worst critics.

    I DO NOT wear makeup to races or to workout unless I was already wearing it from work, which I don't even really wear makeup to work. I think the most makeup I have ever worn was at my wedding at that wasn't very much.

  24. Oh gosh no. No workout or running makeup of any kind.
    I too think your pics are all fine. I don't even see the fat undulation you speak of.
    I hope you passed that dude in red. He's doing the Elaine Benis dance.

  25. Thanks for swinging bymy blog! I loved that story too--that's why I posted it! :).

    I've got you beat. I am the absolute worst race photo taker. Either they are so dreadful you can't even look or the
    Photographer didn't even get the picture at all.

    My first 1/2 marathon and not one single photo of me. Out of what, a thousand they took? Nice.

  26. I am not the least bit photogenic at all, and actively avoid having my picture taken. Oddly enough race photos aren't too bad, other than being in super sharp focus because I move so slowly.

    No, I don't wear any make up, not for racing, not for workouts. Though after today's swim I'm looking for some of my wife's moisturizing cream.

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