09 May 2011

Weekend run: what worked... and what didn't.

It has been a rough road getting back on track. Paris was such a great diversion. I walked about a million kilometers in those two weeks but didn't run a lick. Then I returned all refreshed and reinvigorated and ready to ... take it on!  lol  get it?

I had those two awesome runs that week after we returned. I was all lined up to get my longie on ... but family scheduling and my DIY nose job put if off by a day. And then my personal middle-of-the-night maiming really did me in. The bruise finally did turn a very gross and visible green... you can kind of make it out in one of the pictures below ;-)

Over a week went by between runs again. You know, I have this thing... this race thing coming up next week? I probably should try running again before that happens... don'tcha think? Yeah, me, too.

In my new running shoes and some of my husband's running shorts (because it was kind of hot out for a change... it being the afternoon and all and not the darkness of night), I set off to run 7 miles. I had no time in mind. I had no need for speed. I seriously just wanted to finish it in one piece. What I really wanted was a Perrier with lemon and a burger and fries... but that was not amongst the choices.

I'd like to start with what worked... because there's less of that and we can get it over with fast.

1.  Little pink iPod.
LOVE.
About two miles in to it, I wanted to puke. A half a mile later, I almost did puke. I stopped at a bathroom... I found a clean, serviceable, FLUSH toilet public bathroom with toilet paper (!) on my regular route... and I never knew about it before!
Getting going again after my little pee-break made me want to puke more. 
Right when I really and truly did think I was going to vomit, Sheryl Crow told me that all I wanna do is have some fun...
I sang that song out loud like I was on freakin' Broadway! What a dork!
And I sing like crap.
But the iPod kept me from hearing myself :P

2.  New shoes.
They are different from my last ones, which were discontinued... of course.
Feel a little flatter and roomier and sort of like they make me over-pronate.... which I don't normally do. But my feet and legs felt pretty okay even after the 7-mile shock to their systems, so I'm thinking they're working.

Moving on now to what didn't work...

1.  The poodle-skirt-like shorts.
WTH? Whose size-small-shorts-wearing legs need this much fullness in their running shorts?
Though the liner was super comfy, the silky, slinky, voluminous fabric kept wedging up in my crotch.
I will not be wearing these shorts again.

2.  The hair.
I thought the hair was working.
I thought this because when I saw my shadow, I kept thinking
"WOW! That is some serious Einstein hair!"
and laughing.
It kind of took my mind off of how totally and utterly miserable I was.
This first picture is me thinking that the hair was working...

And this close-up is after I've realized how it soooo isn't.
Everyone on the trail and in our development who saw me (all 10 total) probably thought I was some sort of escaped lunatic ... or Einstein's granddaughter.


3. The underarm vagina thing.
Not working.
My sweet husband pointed this out to me...
"Hey, babe... want me to take a picture of that?"
Sure, honey. Go for it.
How do I get rid of this without losing so much weight that I look like a strung-out junkie chick?
I don't think it's possible. Did you see how skinny my legs are already?

Now it's your turn:

Did you exercise this weekend? Did you lounge in bed? Did you do something else? What? And most importantly, was it fun?

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40 comments:

  1. I just laughed SO hard in this post. Einstein and the underarm vagina-BAHAHAHA!!!!Oh yes-AND Sheryl Crow and the the shorts! Totally made my morning and congrats on the 7 miles!! You are a hoot:)

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  2. LOL, First, I love Brooks shoes!!

    Second, congrats on earning yourself a Pukie Award, I will have it up later this week.

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  3. Your "What didn't work" list cracked me up! I did work out...a long swim yesterday with a follow-up run (sort of a brick!) I went early in the morning and had the pool to myself...sort of a zen moment ...very nice:)

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  4. What a funny post. Glad that you were able to get a run anyways!

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  5. So Hilarious! Especially the underarm vagina thing! Priceless!! I stopped by to thank you for visiting Random Deals and I'm so glad I did! I'm your newest follower! :)

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  6. OMG did you say Underarm Vagina thing? LOL, oh man, that's good stuff! Maybe you need a Shake Weight? : )

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  7. Oh dear ... I have always scrutinized my under arm pudge. Why can't I be like anyone else and put on weight in hips, butt, or chest ... nope ... under arms.

    This weekend I entertained my parents, and taxi-ed my kids. No running. No relaxing. Happy Mother's Day.

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  8. Have I told you that you are DAMN funny? If not. You are DAMN funny!!!

    I managed to get in a 10 mile group run on Saturday, then made brunch for 12 on Sunday. I actually started prepping stuff on Saturday night, and started actually cooking before anyone else got up.

    Have a good week, and I will try not to associate the George of the Jungle theme with you.

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  9. OK that picture is so a vagina up high. We are totally on the same wavelength. And your hair??? OMG your hair. It might be time to get a full shave and start over. That would be perfect and easy for camping.

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  10. haha I will have to watch out for the underarm vagina! I wonder if this post will give you a bunch of new readers through weird google searches ;)

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  11. This is such a great laugh!
    The arm thing, YES..Thanks honey. !!!

    You and I have very similar hairstyles. I usually wear a hat, but YOU can pull it off! =D

    Welll...I have the same shoes! :) I am not totally sure what to think of them yet. I seem to do fine in training, but raced in them and got some big toenail issues. But I am still wearing them. ;) I spent money on them.

    Way to get back into it- and you'll always have Paris now!

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  12. hahaha, how "thoughtful" of your husband to get a picture of that! what a sweetie! :)

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  13. you are too funny!!!
    my hair would look like that too
    I wear a hat...all the time!!!

    I ran both Sat and Sunday
    Yesterday was a battle: me Vs wind..Wind was winning for half of the run...then I turned around!!! ha ha!!!

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  14. I was a total, complete lazy bum who ate and drank way too much all weekend. I neeeeeeed to start running again. You're going to be my inspiration. Honestly, someone's gotta do it, so congratulations!

    As for the armpit vagina, I also have this issue, and I think the solution is painful, annoying chest exercises like push-ups and butterflies. Urgh! Hate.

    Lovin' the hair, though. In. Love.

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  15. Oh girlfriend, you totally make me laugh! Armpit vaginas over here - on both sides! I WISH I had skinny legs and arms....try taking a year off running and eating an entire house everyday, totally need to fix that nightmare.

    Maybe a running cap would help the hairdo?? I can't imagine what I'd look like without one.

    And hello Brooks Ghost - my old favorite shoes until I was told I can't wear them any longer!! Whaaa. Need a size 9.5 by chance? ;)

    Hope you had a fantastic Mother's Day!!!

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  16. congrats to sheryl crow for pulling you out of a funk.

    yes crazy hair is why i now use headbands, alot!

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  17. The new shoes are the trick to motivation. Wear them out!

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  18. Oh my word you crack me up! And you need a running skirt. Like yesterday.
    LOVE your hair. And feeling all connected because I just broke in my new shoes with a 7 miler too. Awww. Now that should make you puke. :P

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  19. If the "new shoe mojo" doesn't get you going for B2B, then I don't know what will! Nuttin' like the mojo of new shoes.

    Weekend fun? This trail run adventure was definitely worth repeating.

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  20. I did notice under the poodle skirt shorts that your legs are very skinny. That hair is totally awesome. Looks better than the normal bed head I have everyday.

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  21. I have no desire to purposefully do something that would make me wanna puke.

    I do need to work out though. Between last weeks horrible migraine and this weeks cramps... I feel like a fat slug.

    Tomorrow I will ride my bike. (I do not run. I like my ovaries where they are, thank you.- at least that is the excuse I give)

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  22. Strangely I'm turned on by the vag-armpit.
    As for your hair, not that I'm judging, but Lulu Lemon makes a really super cute headband :) Tell me your fave colour, email me your addy, you got yourself a new hair accessory!

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  23. I have had migraines since I was really little. They went away for a while in High school and came back when I was pregnant with my 2nd child.

    Acupuncture seems to help keep them at bay and I am doing better about preventing sensory overload.

    I know a guy that runs often and often throws up or almost does. It's crazy.

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  24. I was laughing at the hair, but I was rolling on the floor at the underarm vagina thing. So funny. Thanks for the laugh!

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  25. oh I miss you! Tonight is operation catch up with Marjorie!! :)

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  26. I'm laughing so hard at your underarm vagina, I can't stop. Thank you! I think I have one too, but from the back. I noticed that for the first time while trying on dresses in a dreadful 3-way mirror recently. Anyway, I've been running for 22 years. I know what it's like to run 6-minute miles for long distances on day, and feel like puking after 2 miles the next. I'm somewhere in between now. Kudos to you for posting the humor in all of this.

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  27. My mind is still a little blown over the fact that someone can run that far...yes, I "know" people who do it, but I don't trust them :)
    So I salute your energy and bravery in showing that you truly do run!
    The tips might help for having more fun when I go walking, though!I don't even have an iPod.

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  28. Who DO running shorts look good on?

    Like you I'm a running hater of running. Although I finally caved and bought a running skirt. Supidly overpriced but it's frankly cuter than most of my regular clothes.

    Which pretty much tells you all you need to know about my regular clothes ;)

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  29. Oh my God, that underarm vagina. Hicupping with laughter! And the Einstein hair - you could start a trend! I love it.

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  30. I was just thinking to myself how skinny your legs look!
    Hilarious - the hair, running shorts and vagina arm, well everything about this post actually.

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  31. Your underarm vagina had me in stitches! Yesterday I went for a run for the first time in ages. After hitting "the wall" at 1km, I realised I needed regular runners to inspire me. Well, you're now on my list! :)

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  32. WOW! The hair the arm VAGINA!! How can I not love your forever!

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  33. Hahahahaha underarm vagina!! OMG, I need to use that!!

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  34. Giving the fat under my arm a name makes me feel oddly better about it. Thank you!

    Good luck this week at lovelinks!

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  35. Good luck with the lovelinks!
    I loved this post the first time I read it, and I love it even more now- the poodle shorts, and particularly the fantastic hair. (-:

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  36. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    I loved your hair!!! Now I can always picture you running (ahem) behind my ass at lovelinks #26 looking like Einstein! ROTF.

    Even better, if by some miracle I beat you on this crazy-going-to-give-me-a-heart-attack-soon-voting thingy, I can then say, "I beat friggin' Einstein!!!!" LMAO

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  37. I am all about the hair too! Totally works!! Music is a MUST!!!

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  38. Haha...I loved this post. And seriously... you make that hair look GOOD! ;)

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