13 May 2011


My crack.

It's pretty cheap at only $2.69 a 10-oz. bag.

Even though I can buy it legally, I do have to hide it.

I hid it in the garage this year, in a bag in a bag and then crammed onto a shelf. This wasn't just to keep others from digging into my stash, but it was also to keep me from inhaling them and going on a bender. As it was, I found myself frequently needing to go into the garage... to check on the laundry, to find the vacuum cleaner, to replace a light bulb, to go through some photo boxes for my husband's new site, to get some art or school supplies for the kids, or... to grab a fistful of crack.

Shove as much as I could into my right-hand jeans pocket.

Eat one right away.

As soon as I was done crunching the candy coating, I had to pop another one into my mouth. And this crunch-pop-crunch-pop would continue until the pocket was empty. All without anyone else in the family being the wiser. Sometimes one of the kids would get a whiff of the telltale scent of chocolate and inquire as to its origin. "Whassat smell? Wherezit coming from?"

Wide-eyed and mouth closed, I'd put my hands up and shrug my shoulders in that "search me" way.

Crack can do that to you. Make you lie to your family.

The only problem with my crack is that it is only available seasonally. I can't stock up. I'd just eat it faster. I only bought two bags this year. What was I thinking?

And what you see is all that's left.


Only two.

Not anymore.


In case you missed my super entertaining VLOG all about me and my blog, click on this.


  1. I have a major gummy cola bottle addiction so I can completely relate to this from the frequent trips to the bag to the kids being able to smell me from a mile away!!

  2. That'll teach you for not being a better planner...sheesh...two bags. I could eat two bags while I'm brushing my teeth! Now I'm going to like your FB page because mama wants a new vibrator!

  3. OH MY GOD!!! I never thought of hiding them so that I didn't constantly sneak snacks. Of course, ice cream would be a little difficult to keep in a vacuum sealed bag in the garage.

    Very true though. We all have our crack.

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  5. Oh... how I wish I could eat that again. Because Of Candida, I have sworn off sugar. Darn!!!

    Thanks for stopping by, I am a new follower.

  6. I feel exactly the same way about the Reese's Easter chocolates....hmmmmm......

  7. Luckily my kid is older and doesn't need candy anymore. I am all too familiar with that kind of crack. I simply don't buy it b/c if I do, it's gone in a few days.

    BTW, I checked out your husband's site. Really enjoyed the pictures.

  8. Pretzle M and Ms. I gave up Reeces and they are my methadone. I buy the Costco bag and spend the day evil eyeing its deliciousness. So I feel you sista.

  9. I hide stuff from my kids as well....but not so that I can have it so that they don't!!!!
    beautiful pictures on your husband site..the blue mug I love that one

  10. I'm immune to the call of Easter candy...actually most candy. Real licorice, however, is my Kryptonite. I can eat bags of the black savory stuff, and the really good Dutch "dubbel zout" (double salt) burns the mouth and lasts a little longer but still disappears.


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