How to define 2013?

The year can be boiled down to three pictures and three words...

 

PAINFUL

yes, this is my x-ray...which I saw for the first time today

 

REAFFIRMING

yes, this is my husband...who'd kill me if he knew I posted this

 FAMILY

yes, these are my kids...who inspire me every single day

2013 was the hardest year of my life...but it finished up well, creating a nice segue into the New Year. I'm ready for 2014. 

May it grace us all with an abundance of joy and good health.

Cheers!

An update of sorts

Not a whole lot of time for this, unfortunately, but here are some random updates on what is happening Chez XL...

1.  We are having crawly critter issues...

This is misleading. The spider is as big as my thumb! 

G came running downstairs the other night...

MOM!!!!! THERE IS A HUGE SPIDER

RIGHT

OVER 

MY

BED

!!!!!!!!!!

I, being the adventurous, unafraid mom that I am, captured it live

and released it to the wild into our front yard.

And then there's this...

we wake up more often than not (or so it seems) to this...

Do you see the ants? I found this photo on my phone. I didn't take it.

I was too busy KILLING THEM.

It was like D-Day all over again.

The ants were like the Allies...they kept sending troops into battle. Relentless, onward they came.

In unheard of numbers. More and more and more strode into the slaughter.

The vacuum cleaner and I heartlessly and methodically decimated their ranks.

Unapologetically committing insecticide...

Yet knowing that, though we might win this battle, 

those little bastards would probably win the war.

2. We've had familial sickness...

No pictures of this. Over the weekend, both my husband and I got some weird zombie-like sickness. No body aches or fever or throwing up, just these headaches and disorientation and inability to function like normal people. On one occasion, my husband was lurching down the hall and I was stumbling around in the kitchen making lunch for the kids and I started laughing so hard. I was seriously like we were two zombies trying to raise a houseful of human children. Guess you had to be there :P

3. I finally got my hip x-rayed.

No results yet. I just had it done yesterday. I'd been dragging my feet on that for about 9 years. Ummmm...yeah.... First it was because a week after the doc wrote the requisition, I found out I was pregnant. Hip x-ray while pregnant, no es bueno. When I was ready to get the x-ray after that baby was born...BOOM... pregnant again. That happened a couple of times. So then it just seemed like every time I was going to get it the wait was going to be HOURS. Yesterday I had a couple of free hours, so I decided to just suck it up and go. I was in and out in 20 minutes. Whoa. Did I feel kind of stupid. Yeah. You'll be the firsts to know what it says as soon as I know.

That's all I've got for now!

I hope life is treating all of you well and thanks for hanging tough with me while I spend a little less time in BlogWorld.

Be well!

High School

Who remembers high school? Okay...now who remembers it fondly?

High school for me was a mixed bag. Academically, the institution I attended was highly-ranked and well-regarded. It was our city's public high school. Very few people in the district sent their kids elsewhere because it was considered such a great school.

Ours was a school of tremendous diversity...in all areas: racial, religious, economic, cultural...you name it. Still there was a lot of 'fitting-in' angst. But I see now, after watching my 6 stepkids navigate this period, the angst is fairly universal even if it isn't always obvious.

Why am I talking about high school?

My big boy is about to embark on the adventure, that's why. And it isn't a simple procedure.

The local public high school is not a good fit for him. He would be miserable and afraid. He would for sure get jacked up and shoved into a locker sometime in the first or second week of school. I'm not a doom-sayer...I just know my kid. This school is my husband's alma mater, and way back when he was a student it was a great school for him, and he loved it. But my guys are different animals, one from the other. And so we've been doing the Private School Application Game with Big G. Lots of open houses, student shadow visits, interviews, and application essays. Fun stuff. And we're all starting to feel a wee bit stressed. Deadlines are looming...everything needs to be in by next Thursday.

He has chosen three schools to which he plans to apply. They are all great, and I do believe he would be happy in each one, but they are all as different as they are similar. I'm wondering how much influence I should exert over the decision-making process. I'm wondering if there will even need to be a decision. And I am a little overwhelmed at the parental pieces of the application! We have to write essays, too!

Long story short...I'm distracted from this blog right now. And top it off with not running for a myriad of reasons (actually, not exercising at all)... not much time and really very little to say :( So not like me!

So...

hold that thought!

because

as Schwarzenegger would say,

"I'll be back!"

Wishing you all a fabulous weekend!  :)

Sharing Love and Strength ...in Sherry's name

For the love of running...for the love of life.

On this day, February 11, 2012, at 9 a.m. MST (which was 8 a.m. PST), people all over the world energetically gathered together with the intention of honoring Sherry Arnold through movement. Sherry is the cousin of my friend, Beth, who writes the blog Shut Up and Run. She was a mother, wife, and school teacher...loved by many. She went out for a run one morning in early January and did not come home.

After discussing what this event was about and what it meant, my family decided to come along with me. None of us can imagine the feelings of pain and loss that Sherry's family must be experiencing. We all wanted to do something toward their healing and the healing of the greater community by showing our love and support. 

We walked quietly and thoughtfully out of our neighborhood and over to the water to have a moment of silence and then begin the event...

The boys were uncharacteristically not loud.

Once we got to the water, Big G started some whiny, selfish b.s. about how unfair it was that we had to do this at such an 'early' hour. "In Washington D.C. it's 11 o'clock...why couldn't we just do this at 11 o'clock?" I explained two things to him:

1. the idea was to have a collective energetic intention of honoring and remembering...and the closest everyone came to participating at the same time, the more that power would be felt. Yes, we could do it later, but we had the time and the space in our day to do it then...and so that was how we were going to do it.
2. we don't always get to pick the time something happens. Handling 'inconveniences' that mean a tremendous amount to other people is part of living a generous and loving life. The more grace and kindness we can infuse into our challenges, the better life will feel to both ourselves and those around us. And I related an anecdote about my own father's death that really seemed to hit home with him.

He went off by himself to mull over all of these heavy thoughts. And the other kids went down to the water, lost in exploring and living life. It was a beautiful, if melancholy grey morning. The sun was streaming through the clouds in such a hopeful way...

...and the sky was clearing...

Big G finished his mini-sojourn, returned to my side, gave me a huge hug and apologized for being selfish. We walked holding hands for a good ways. As I felt the warmth and trust and love of his grip and watched my younger three children examine and ponder rocks and shells and feelings and life, I reflected on Sherry and her family. She has brought out so much love in people, both in her life and in her passing. Though I never knew her, I can feel the strength of her giving, soulful being. And her death, though horrific and tragic, leaves me feeling neither fearful nor destroyed but, perhaps oddly, even more open and hopeful than I have ever been. 

Linking up this week ...

come on over and join in!

Lots of great reads going on :)

How many can I have?

When I was a kid, I fantasized about being a part of an enormous family. I wrote stories about families with double-digits of kids. They were all happy and got big allowances. Like, really big... $100 big. Big families and big money. I was an only child...and we were poor.

I didn't start having kids until I was 36 years old. My husband, however, had started young. He already had six by the time we met. And that was enough for him. I understood. But over time, we agreed that we wanted to have kids together. Sweet, I know :)  It was going to just be one. Then just two. Then just one more. And...well.. we have four.

So here they are... my Top 10 reasons why I'm not going to have anymore kids:

1. 10 kids was a lot to ask of my husband, and he was a real champ to go along.
2. 48 is feeling pretty old. And tired.
3. I'd rather not be lactating when I'm 50. While I've enjoyed breastfeeding without a break since 1999, I'm thinking I'd like to wrap up this game kind of soon.
4. Trader Joe's frozen waffles come 8 to a box...that's 2 per kid. Works out perfectly.
5. I'm a woman on the edge...of being maxxed out by the four I have. 
6. In theory, I'd love to have more...snuggling a tiny body to my chest, the sweet newborn smells, a new and different person to add to the mix. In reality, I do not want to be waking up every 90 minutes through the night AT ALL. I. Just. Don't.
7. I can't handle my mom freaking out (in a bad way) again when she hears the news.
8. My youngest says she wants to be the baby, and my oldest says we have the perfect amount of people in our family.
9. I'd rather run a marathon.
10. There's no more room in the bed.

Thanks so much, Stasha at Northwest Mommy, for giving us the Listicles link-up. And Jen from Just Jennifer, you were so timely in coming up with this topic. It was so good for me to reflect on these 10 reasons...I was starting to get the baby jones again :P

Sick. Physical. Effort.

I have always been really good at math. In eighth grade, the teacher would correct everyone's tests off of my paper. I got in the 700's on my math SAT. I can add my groceries up as I shop and always come out within $5 on 6 to 8 bags of groceries. I'm not bragging. I'm just trying to show that math is one of my strong suits. 

So what happened?

Sunday's run... 12 miles. I picked an X-treeeeemely hilly run because ... because I like extremes.

I've done this run before... a million years ago. It's pieced together off of regional park trail maps. I added up all the parts once and came up with a tiny bit over 12 miles. Perfect. Or so I thought. I should've checked my math.

Here's the map of The Beast....

you can move the map around and zoom in and out to see the whole thing

View Larger Map

It looks so far when I see it on a map. It's an out-and-back with a loop on the end (point B). And 12 miles is far.


But 13.1 is farther.

One point one miles is not a huge difference. Except mentally. I realized when my Garmin beeped at 6 miles, and I had not arrived at the farthest point from the start, that I was in for more than I had planned. Throw in the fact that I was in the middle of The Widowmaker (aka Hill from Hell) and I can tell you I was a woman on the verge of something... and it wasn't pretty. (refer back to my f-bomb post...which was inspired partly by this run).

Elevation Profile of The Beast

This is a bonafide example of

sick.
physical.
effort.

I only wish the downhill had felt as noticeable as the uphill.

It was a gorgeous day and a gorgeous place... just hard to appreciate all that gorgeousness when in the middle of climbing hill after never-ending hill...

Here's the scene at 2.5 miles...beautiful rolling hills.

Naked trees at 3.5 miles.

Interestingly, when the going felt nearly insurmountably impossible, it was not the f-word that sprung to mind. My mind kept going to this amazing woman and her phrase... dream big. Thank you for that, Dorothy. 

8.7 miles in, I saw the funniest name for a bathroom door lock EVER.

And was so grateful for clean bathrooms and flushing toilets :)

My husband and I had set up for the family to meet me here, at what I thought would be the 8-mile mark. My math was off. And we had estimated my pace at 10-min miles. Ummm... a bit overly-optimistic. Even without the math screw-up, I knew after the first sllloooowwwww mile that they would be waiting.

I got to the meeting place later than we had planned. They went the flattering route and guessed that I had been running so fast that they had missed me... and they left. We missed each other by moments.

But....

Look what was waiting for me at the end!

Awesome kids greeting me at the finish!

and 

my super husband who let my sweaty self hug him :)

Distance: 13.1 miles
Time: 2:22:18
Avg. Pace: 10:52

And for those of you who enjoy hearing my charming voice, I have prepared a video. My plan was to reward myself at each mile completed by shooting a tiny snippet of video so you could see my surroundings and hear me gasping for air. That lasted for the first 6 miles. It is boring, and it required more effort to stop and start than seemed rewarding, so I scrapped that plan... and just uttered the f-word a few times. Not on camera.

I will continue to dream big.

But I might also sometimes use the f-word.

When can you say X is IX... revisited

While we were in Paris, Baby X turned IX.  that's nine, in case you don't know your roman numerals ;-)
I vowed to spend a post putting the focus on her upon our return to my photo archives.

Here is my SuperGirl's Happy Birthday post... two weeks late!

I remember vividly the night you were born.

I had started labor that afternoon and was annoyed and needing distraction. I insisted on going to a movie...

"What if your water breaks in the theater?" daddy asked.

"GOOD!" was my reply.

Clearly, I was ready for you to make your arrival ;-)

I went to see The Sweetest Thing starring Cameron Diaz and Christina Applegate and laughed my butt off... which makes contractions extra painful as I found out, but I didn't care as much because something was funny.

I had forgotten how much childbirth hurts, even though I had vowed to NEVER forget. 

I would be different from other women... I would NOT forget the pain.

Ha!

It was a little before 3 a.m. when you came into the world... April 14, 2002.

I finally had a little girl...

my daughter.

You were sweet, easy and happy from Day One.

Everything a mommy could hope for :)

Like nearly every baby, you took a few baths in the kitchen sink!

You loved to hang out with daddy...

and to dig around in drawers.

Everywhere you went, you made friends easily :)

And you slept like an angel.

With an engaging smile on your face, you turned

 ONE!

And continued to be a sunny, happy, joyful girl...

loved by everyone.

A Dora birthday delighted you when you were

TWO!

Nearly bald for the first few years of life, you were a real curly girlie by the time you were

THREE!

A globe-trotter at an early age, you spent your birthday in Paris when you turned

 FOUR!

In a year of upheaval, you demonstrated courage and strength beyond your years

before the fun-filled day you turned

FIVE!

The Birthday Harley ride...

Later that year, you also learned to ride a horse...

And then a two-wheeler!

Surrounded by friends, you became

 SIX!

You continued to be vibrant, enthusiastic and amazing at

SEVEN!

You found your inner athlete and turned

EIGHT!

You opened your birthday presents in sheer delight :)

And now you are

NINE!

Happy Birthday to my wonderful, sparkling delight of a girl :)

You inspire, you ground, you give...

you LOVE.

I love you with all my heart.

Love,

Mommy

Wonderful Day-Trip to Soissons

Soissons is a town of roughly 30,000. It is one of the oldest towns in northern France and dates back to before the 3rd century. For a long time it was even the capital its own kingdom. Lots of history in this town. I have included this link if you want to find out more. It was run roughshod over for millennia, very notably in the last century when it was on the front line during World War I and again saw action during World War II.

My husband reconnected with someone from his childhood who currently lives in Soissons. She is a lovely person and an amazing hostess, and she shared this interesting and beautiful town with us.

We spent the better part of the day just walking around and talking. It was one of the highlights of the trip. Those spectacular Parisian 'attractions' are amazing, but connecting one-on-one with someone and really seeing something from a more personal perspective really make the trips for me.

After a bite to eat, we headed to the local playground and park where everyone had a great time.

Head first down the slide... is there any other way? Miss C doesn't think so.

For a teeny playground in a teeny town, the collection of trees was incredible. There were over 20 different types of trees... this did not include the shrubs... in a planted area about the size of a smallish city block. Tulip poplars, larch, douglas fir-ish ones, weeping willow, copper beech, weeping beech, chestnut, cherry, ginkgo, norfolk island pine-ish one, some species of 'regular' pine, variegated holly, a couple of species of maple, a couple species of oak... it was like a mini arboretum. My horticultural education was screaming with excitement! (yes, that was my major in college... don't make fun of me).

We couldn't have picked a more lovely and perfect time to take this trip. Everything was blooming and green. The temperatures were perfect for walking around and being outside.

Here, Daddy made the flowering cherry "snow" on the kids...

We then went for a walk through town and wound up on the banks of the Aisne River.

The swans on the Aisne can apparently be quite aggressive. The kids were enchanted and, fortunately, did not fall victim to any swan-assault. The kids did, however, assault each other... or their chuthers ;-)...  because they each wanted to touch a swan but kept freaking the poor birds out. Every time one of the swans would swim up pretty close to one of the kids, a sibling would come charging over to try and touch it, too, which pissed off the first kid who would then scream at the second kid who would still not back away which necessitated a getting punched. Yay. During the melées, the swans would swim away... of course.

This is the historic cathedral in Soissons. I encourage you to click the link to learn more. It is very rich in history, and there is too much to say for me to write it all over again :)

The cathedral was halfway between the vicious swans and this abbey.

L'Abbaye Saint-Jean-des-Vignes is in ruins and has been for over 200 years. Again, I encourage you to click the link here to read more about it. It isn't a long blurb, but it is a bit much for me to try and summarize.

You can see it was a lovely day!

Above, Baby X is making shadow puppets on the lawn...

And below, the kids are finally frolicking ... amongst the ruins of a medieval abbey.

As my husband often says...

It doesn't get any better than this!