My husband left me...

For real.

see him?

 waving 'good-bye' to the wife and minivan full of children all screaming at and pinching and squishing and annoying each other and basically not paying attention to the fact that daddy is leaving... 

and do you see how he is smiling? 

Well, it is only temporary. In theory, anyway.

He went to France. I know... again, right? Yep... again. This time without us.

It is the trade-off for me getting to go run in the Hood to Coast Relay at the end of the month as a part of the awesome Nuun Platuun.

Sounds fair, right?

Eleven days on the west coast of France for him... on the beach with no phone or internet access... taking photographs with a fabulous artist and teacher... relaxation and creativity will abound... in exchange for four days in Oregon for me...40 hours in a van with 6 other people... sleeping sitting up or on the ground or not at all... eating out of a cooler or a paper bag... running a lot... winding up on the beach...

Hey!

We both get to go to the beach! Well, that makes it Even Steven!

Go ahead... you can say it....

I am the best wife ever.

Ehhhhh-VERRRRRRR.

Keeping the kids from driving me crazy... oh, wait... let me take responsibility for my feelings...

My Sanity Protection Program includes:

• older three kids in camp from 9-4 every weekday. YES! *fist-pull from the sky*
• two-year old in preschool three days from 9:30-3. Heck YEAH! *both arms thrust upward like I scored a fricken touchdown*
• physical therapy, massage, and acupuncture on those three two-year-old-less days
• working out while kids are out of the house and/or in bed at night
• going to bed early (this is the one that will be tricky for me :P)
• bribery

I think this plan may work. Nonetheless, it looks like I picked a tough week to kick crack.

Heading to the zoo this morning seemed like a good alternative to hard drugs and booze.

They didn't bicker the whole time...

But the joyful picture at the frog area was marred by this guy getting in the way...
yo, dude... I may just be shooting with a craptastic phone camera, but these are still my family's moments to record and cherish... look before you step in front of someone looking like they might be taking a picture.


Some moments were downright sweet...

Baby X and Miss C always seem to get along.

Big G is becoming a more engaged and kind big brother.

In some ways, his maturity blows me away.

Here he has just made the following painful observation,

"Gosh, there are so many ignorant people here!"

which was based primarily on the fact that the people clustering around the gibbon enclosure kept referring to the ape as a monkey...

and not so much on their general behaviors and conversation...

but still...

We went with a dear friend and her little girl who adores Baby X and is roughly the same age as Miss C.

She thoroughly enjoyed some surrogate big sibling time!

For awhile, our little friend had a blast playing this funny leg-kicking game with Big G and Baby X...

This prompted another very mature observation from Big G:

"Boy, she sure is a handful! I don't know how on earth her mom copes!"

I eagerly look forward to the day when these new, mature observations lead to a new, mature way of treating his younger siblings and helping out around the house :P

I just may survive this brief stint as a single mom.

Now if I could only figure out how to get Q-Man to stop screaming at me about his dessert... without resorting to duct tape.

My family went to Paris and all I got was…

... sick.

Not really. 

Only two of us got to get sick :P

As far as purchases went, the kids did get to choose some pretty stellar (and cheapo) souvenirs on their trip to France...

Big G picked a few books (in French) about ancient weaponry, mythology and wizardry...

And a nifty "gold" pocket watch with an Eiffel Tower embossed on the cover, a very detailed metal model of Notre Dame, and an awesome little gargoyle.

Baby X had her eye on sparkly things and Astérix.  

A book bag, keychains and a little sparkly Eiffel Tower.

Q-Man decided on a "silver" pocket watch with a "gold" Eiffel Tower glued molded onto it of his very, very own (similar to Big G's) and two books (again, in French) about medieval castles and life in the Middle Ages...one of which came with a mighty coolio castle to build!

And his pièce de resistance...

A fabulous $4 snow globe.

Daddy was diggin' on the cheapo chocolate that was on sale at the supermarket.

(it isn't even the 'good' stuff... but man, did he get it for a good price ;-) )

What did I get?

Well, what I wanted was this...

You know how I feel about our toilets here at home. These French toilets rival Target's public restroom toilets and the blaster toilets on airplanes. And they have a half-flush, water-saving feature ;-)  Even the French version of the low-flow toilet is better than the American one. These guys have it going on!

Check this out...

I saw no plungers in any of the bathrooms I visited on the trip. None. They are unnecessary. Such a difference from our house where one is required in every bathroom and used at least once every day.

However...

due to the very low initial water level, a toilet brush (right hand side of picture and video) is indispensable. I think you know why.

So that's what I really wanted, but...

because of luggage restrictions and our budget constraints, I had to settle for these...

The World's Most Awesome Tampons!

And you have to go to France to get them ;-)

The Slacker Bunny...

Today is Easter. I know it really is one of the holiest of all days for those who are of a Christian faith. I work to educate my children about which faiths celebrate what and what each faith holds in holy regard. While we are not a church-going family, both my husband and I are spiritual people who endeavor to "do right" in this world on all levels. We do our best to impart this philosophy onto our children.

(Miss C has on 2 dresses... she picked one out, put it on, got mad, refused to take it off, demanded a new one put on over the first one... she is so two)

Right here and now, I have to confess... it's about the chocolate for my kids. Jelly beans come in second place. Peeps don't even enter into the equation. And Jesus... well, let's just say I definitely need to do some more work teaching "what is the meaning of Easter."

Still feeling jet-lagged after our great trip to France (at least it makes for a good excuse... and I'll use it as long as I can), I didn't have it all together regarding Easter preparations for my kids. No cute outfits... no fancy chocolate bunnies... no real baby bunnies or chicks or lambs... not even any plain white, hard-boiled eggs (I did buy the egg dye pack, however, so the intention was there). And, as you will be able to see in the videos, my jet-lag has been so powerful as to render me incapable of tidying up the house :P

If you would like to spend 2 minutes joining in on our egg hunt and see what the downstairs of our messy house looks like, watch this first video...

Then the kids took the show upstairs... so if you want to see what that looks like, in all it's glory, including our indoor bridge (!), watch this second, slightly longer video...

For once, I am not surprised that everyone is melting down and screaming and cranky already... and it's only noon. 

I did let them eat chocolate before breakfast

and during breakfast

and after breakfast.

Next year, we will be exploring the more spiritual side of the holiday.

Wonderful Day-Trip to Soissons

Soissons is a town of roughly 30,000. It is one of the oldest towns in northern France and dates back to before the 3rd century. For a long time it was even the capital its own kingdom. Lots of history in this town. I have included this link if you want to find out more. It was run roughshod over for millennia, very notably in the last century when it was on the front line during World War I and again saw action during World War II.

My husband reconnected with someone from his childhood who currently lives in Soissons. She is a lovely person and an amazing hostess, and she shared this interesting and beautiful town with us.

We spent the better part of the day just walking around and talking. It was one of the highlights of the trip. Those spectacular Parisian 'attractions' are amazing, but connecting one-on-one with someone and really seeing something from a more personal perspective really make the trips for me.

After a bite to eat, we headed to the local playground and park where everyone had a great time.

Head first down the slide... is there any other way? Miss C doesn't think so.

For a teeny playground in a teeny town, the collection of trees was incredible. There were over 20 different types of trees... this did not include the shrubs... in a planted area about the size of a smallish city block. Tulip poplars, larch, douglas fir-ish ones, weeping willow, copper beech, weeping beech, chestnut, cherry, ginkgo, norfolk island pine-ish one, some species of 'regular' pine, variegated holly, a couple of species of maple, a couple species of oak... it was like a mini arboretum. My horticultural education was screaming with excitement! (yes, that was my major in college... don't make fun of me).

We couldn't have picked a more lovely and perfect time to take this trip. Everything was blooming and green. The temperatures were perfect for walking around and being outside.

Here, Daddy made the flowering cherry "snow" on the kids...

We then went for a walk through town and wound up on the banks of the Aisne River.

The swans on the Aisne can apparently be quite aggressive. The kids were enchanted and, fortunately, did not fall victim to any swan-assault. The kids did, however, assault each other... or their chuthers ;-)...  because they each wanted to touch a swan but kept freaking the poor birds out. Every time one of the swans would swim up pretty close to one of the kids, a sibling would come charging over to try and touch it, too, which pissed off the first kid who would then scream at the second kid who would still not back away which necessitated a getting punched. Yay. During the melées, the swans would swim away... of course.

This is the historic cathedral in Soissons. I encourage you to click the link to learn more. It is very rich in history, and there is too much to say for me to write it all over again :)

The cathedral was halfway between the vicious swans and this abbey.

L'Abbaye Saint-Jean-des-Vignes is in ruins and has been for over 200 years. Again, I encourage you to click the link here to read more about it. It isn't a long blurb, but it is a bit much for me to try and summarize.

You can see it was a lovely day!

Above, Baby X is making shadow puppets on the lawn...

And below, the kids are finally frolicking ... amongst the ruins of a medieval abbey.

As my husband often says...

It doesn't get any better than this!

Granny's Gadgets #15... and last leg of the trip update

Dear Gadgetfans,

I sincerely apologize for leaving you hanging on Monday without a gadget to ponder. Preparations for our return home from our awesome vacation were ... ummmm... overwhelming. Time got away from me and I was just too wiped out to make it happen. It was a bummer especially because there were a couple of other really weird-looking things in those drawers in France! I so badly wanted to share them with you all :)

Anyway...

Back in America...

Yes, we are home... rolled in at just before 10 pm and crawled into our beds. That last leg of the journey was exciting! All the missing of connections, stand-by and separation and reunification, mechanical problems... then finally on the "spare" plane! Which only had one bathroom! It was so funny when they announced over the PA system that everyone on the flight should go use the bathroom before getting on the plane... reminded me of me :)  "Okay, mom."

Our flight attendants were "Ken" (Barbie's boyfriend) and Luis Guzman's cranky twin brother. Because there were so many problems and inconveniences, "Ken" told some of us that we'd get comped movies. And the pilot even said to all of us, "If there is anything we can do up here on the flight deck to make your trip more enjoyable, just let us know." But LG's cranky bro kept saying they needed to "evaluate the criteria" regarding free movies. Dude! Just tell the captain to flip the switch or there'll be rioting in the aisles! About an hour into the flight, that's just what they did... whew. Those free previews were getting really repetitive :P

On to today's Main Event...

This gadget harkens back to the days of my youth... Some of you might recall the days of manually-operated things such as this... Others of you are such spring chickens that you may never have seen one of these babies in action... well, here it is:

It really is over 60 years old... my mother-in-law verified that fact a couple of months ago. She received it for a wedding present in 1950. Honestly, this gadget sticks so annoyingly (might be those twist-ties) that I rarely use it anymore. I have hunted for a new one to no avail. I usually use my hand-held electric model nowadays.

Incidentally, if you listen closely, you might be able to hear Miss C listening to Blue's Clues in the background. Did you know that Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper are from France? What a coincidence that we were just there! LOL

Tale of Two Lawns...

 This is the one you are allowed to go on... see the sign? It means "authorized lawn" ;-)

This lawn is the FORBIDDEN lawn. That is what "interdite" means... FORBIDDEN. Do NOT go on this one or the little gendarme dudes in their little uniforms with their shrill whistles will rip you a new one. This is how they keep the lawns looking so lovely... they rotated which ones are allowed and which are forbidden. Sometimes they say that the forbidden one is "resting" (pelouse au repos) which sounds a lot nicer.

The weather has been amazing while we've been here, maybe a little cold for a couple of days... but clear and dry. The past 4 days have been gorgeous. People flock to the parks ... and the lawns.  Where they can't sit on the lawn, the park provides chairs so you can sit how and where you like OFF the lawn.

Sometimes I wish this was me...

peaceful, calm pique-nique by the pelouse...

 But then I wouldn't have this...

or this!

Not to mention all of the other incredible, feel-good mommy moments I have had the good fortune to experience while on this trip

(as well as in 'regular' life)

I am sad that we need to leave.

We are just about all packed and it is time for bed.

Thanks for hanging with us while we traipsed about :)

There are a few more posts about the trip on the way...

I need more energy and time to craft something coherent.

Maybe tomorrow!

Today is a Granny's Gadgets day... unfortunately, the camera is packed and I don't know where my husband put it :(  There will be one up as soon as I am back in my kitchen stateside. Thanking you in advance for your patience and understanding ;-)

Fontainebleau

Chateau de Fontainebleau

My husband kept pronouncing this "fountainbleu" like a fountain of bleu cheese. I had to correct him...

It's "Fontaineblow" ... like that line in Shanghai Knights.

We were going to go for the day... visit the palace AND the gardens AND the forest (which is a big deal on its own). But.... we left the house at about 1:30 in the afternoon, and it was a 90-minute drive... and we were all pretty spent before we even started.

Our hostess was awesome. She and her two kids accompanied us. The kids all had a pretty great time. The adults all felt pretty wiped from all the driving and agreed that it wasn't very much bang for the driving buck.

Fontainbleau is a very big historical deal in France. It is more important than Versailles... even though The Big V is a lot fancier. If you click on the link under the above picture, it will lead you to info about why... in case you want to know.

I took Big G, Baby X and our hostess' oldest son on the quickie tour. That is the tour for kids. You don't really stop and learn about much of anything, you just check out all the grandiosity and splendor and how big or small the beds are, how much gold there is on stuff, whether or not there are chandeliers or lots of naked lady statues... that sort of tour. The tour takes most people a good solid hour or more. We did it in 32 minutes.

Here are some highlights...

Battle Royale in the courtyard!

 Jumping down off of things we shouldn't have been climbing on!

Being extremely cute on statues we shouldn't sit on while daddy watches us in the garden and mommy races through the palace with older kids!

 Miss C getting her training run in...

 the girl is a running machine, I tell you!

Those were the guys outside.

We were the guys inside.

Baby X was really into the audioguided tour gizmo... I think she learned a lot.

 Napoleon's bed... she is right next to it. It is super short... like he was. I was surprised, but maybe he wanted a cozy little bed to snuggle into at night?

We saw several other rooms, but we were going so fast that I forgot to take pictures.

It was a quick tour.

I am not sure exactly how this happened...

it was the end of the day.

 The kids enjoyed some cookies...

 Q-Man expressed his 'done-ness' by curling up into a ball.

 And my big girl has some issues with her socks... there were no visible injuries that would appear to require makeshift bandaging, so it must have been a fashion statement.

 Miss C passed on the cookies (much to her dismay) but did find solace in a date.

Of course, no palace of great national importance and significance would be complete without

a pissing dog fountain.

Am I right?

Artemis with her peeing hound dogs... I remember that myth.

And check this out!

Traffic looks the same in France!

No special style or panache...

just lots of cars,

cranky people,

dirty air...