A first time for everything.

My first post here in 2014..

My presence here at Taking It On has been sparse, I know. I was here a lot for a couple of years, and then things slowed waaaayyyyy down. Some very difficult things happened in my personal life...some of which I feel comfortable sharing and others, not yet. I doubt I'll ever return to blogging here every day, but I do have a real fondness for you, my Taking It On readers, and for blabbing sharing about myself and life's trials and tribulations and so am still drawn to indulge in this narcissistic outlet from time to time. Here's the latest...

In my last post, which was posted on the last day of last year (lots of lasts), I shared an image of a very diseased hip joint. It was an x-ray taken a year ago, and it was gnarly...in a not good way. For a reminder about what went down, click here to be transported to February of last year. That day I had gone in for a second opinion and I saw that x-ray for the first time. And it stunned me into reality. At that appointment I made the decision that I will get a full hip replacement.

Two weeks ago I had a new image taken. I was x-rayed this time in preparation for meeting with an orthopedic surgeon. It looked even worse...bigger bone spurs, more of that white stuff indicating increased bone due to stress, and weird cysts in the femoral head. Looking at the picture made me cringe. The surgeon said, "Sooooooo...you've got a really messed up hip!"

And while he didn't sing to me, he did spend an hour talking with me about life and surgery and family and joints and "big picture" and zombie apocalypses. He's my surgeon-of-choice and I am excited to get this done.

After a year of basically doing NOTHING in terms of fitness, I'm now cross-training like it's my job. The plan is to be in the best shape time (and pain levels) will allow going into surgery. I need to get stronger and more fit...and I need to lose about 15 lbs. That last part is so humbling. I can't say I've ever been in that place before. But I'm ready to... what am I ready to do????

That's right... TAKE IT ON.

'Cuz that's what I do.

Will I ever run again? That remains to be seen. It is on the "NOT recommended" list for artificial hip recipients, but people do it anyway. My surgeon said, "I can sell you the car, but what you do with it once you drive it off the lot is up to you." 

But enough of that hard stuff...

Everything else in life is going nicely...my kids are happy, my husband is happy, I'm happy. We just moved to a house that suits us really well, and the kids are all still going to their same schools. Big G is loving his high school (and how many people can say that they LOVED high school?). And, if you clicked the right link above, you now know my dirty little, two-timing secret. Please understand that I needed an outlet and I know that some of you have a hard time with "language." We are all multi-faceted...now you have a glimpse of more of my facets :)

Me with wet hair and a beautiful 4-year old.

So, HI, EVERYONE!!!! Have you missed me as much as I've missed you??? And running....I really miss running...

Not Pimp Rock Palace (photo warning for the squeamish)

Yesterday I experienced PRP for the first time.

And that doesn't stand for Pimp Rock Palace.

In this case, PRP stands for Platelet-Rich Plasma. My own platelet-rich plasma was injected into my hip joint as part of a treatment series attempting to regenerate cartilage in there. You can read about it here.

In case you're new here, I was recently diagnosed with severe osteoarthritis and told that my hip joint has degenerated to being a bone-on-bone situation.

I'm following the ranks of A-Rod, Tiger Woods, and Kobe Bryant...as one reader said, "Without the hookers." (Cant' remember who gave me that gem...speak up because I love it and want to thank you). These pro athletes (and others) have had success with this form of treatment.

The top yellowish part is the plasma. The next whitish layer contains the platelets.

These two layers are what he injected into my hip joint.

I went to see the cute doctor. I filled out a bunch of paperwork and then went into the inner sanctum. After chatting a bit about my hip's history and filling my husband in on what was about to happen and how it worked, we got down to the real business. After drawing my blood, he numbed my hip with two injections of something. This was the most painful part of the procedure, and it was more a stinging pressure than pain. The first one was more superficial while the second went deep.

This is the third time I've used "singing" as a coping mechanism when undergoing an 'uncomfortable' medical event. I've found this way of distracting myself to be extremely effective and recommend it highly. I began during the first numbing injection with a sort of humming with my mouth open and so was kind of loud. It changed in volume and pitch as the injection proceeded. Then with the second one, I sang an actual song.

I'm singing....

I'm in a doctor's office and I'm singing....
I'm in a doctor's office and I'm SINNNGINNNNGGGG!!!!

The doctor started laughing and joined in.

And you're my dad... and guess what?
I love you!
I LOVE you!
I LOVE YOUUUUUU!!!!!

I am completely and entirely serious. I now know with absolute certainty that I picked the right doctor for ME. Unfortunately, my husband had not yet begun filming when the musical portion of the procedure happened :(  The film he did take isn't all that interesting...just me getting a shot with the needle shown below...

Yes, that's my hip.

And now you've seen my underwear.

Another angle that makes the needle look even longer.

Now just imagine that above vial of PRP hooked onto the needle 

and being injected into my hip.

It didn't hurt really. A huge pressure sensation more than anything. It made my hip feel "juicy" inside. It made things feel different right away...but of course, my hip was numbed so there was that :P The doctor and my husband stood on either side of me as I tried to take my first step. Thank GOD because it felt like there was a huge THING missing...oh, yeah...that would be my numb hip! And I almost went down. But within moments, I was able to sort of shuffle with help.

It got sore about 30 minutes later, just an achy, beat-up feeling. This lasted for several hours. I was able to walk around the house slowly and go up and down stairs holding onto the railing. I'm probably more mobile than I think, but I am being paranoid and allowing the treatment to "settle in" and do it's thing. Sleeping was no problem.

This morning I feel fine. It's a little sore but not bad at all. I admit that I am afraid to even slightly test it. I'm going to spend the day alternating between shuffling and lying around. I go back in a month to do it again. The doctor feels we're looking at 5-6 treatments...maybe more, but he is optimistic that this will help a lot. I'm in Running Moratorium for at least that long, and no elliptical for 2-3 treatments. I can bike, row on the rowing machine, yoga, do some easy weights, perform rehabby exercises, and walk around. We don't want to disturb any possible cartilage regeneration process!

I'll be taking a fistful of joint supplements...MSM, glucosamine, and chondroitin. Additionally, I'll continue my anti-inflammatory way of eating and doing my meditative work. It's time to make the healing, restorative work a major priority.

If you have any questions about this, feel free to ask! I am completely fascinated by this process.

What the doctor said...

Today I had a phone consultation with my health plan's orthopedics guy to discuss my diagnosis.

I had a massive list of questions for him and was anticipating him to be a pompous, disdainful jerk. I based this on his online reviews. What I quickly realized once we began talking is that smart doctors appreciate well-informed, energetic, proactive patients. On the flip side, smart doctors tend to be a little dismissive and impatient with patients who don't really take care of their bodies. This guy is a smart doctor. And I am his perfect patient.

(all quoted dialogue is not necessarily directly quoted!)

Right away he said, "I'm not sure if I should give it to you straight...or if I should sugar-coat it a little."

"Give it to me straight up," I told him. "I don't mess around."

He laughed.

Then he got serious and said, "Your hip is done."

He proceded to tell me that there is no evidence of cartilage in there...it's a bone-on-bone situation. I am lucky that I am thin and active and fit and healthy...and "obviously very energetic."

I asked him about getting an MRI. "No need," he said. "The damage is done. There is no repair surgery to do. There's essentially nothing left." He went on to say that I had not done this to myself...I had done nothing wrong.

Then we talked about what I've been doing for the past 2+ years. He was floored. And not annoyed or frustrated or scolding. "I'm not going to tell you to not do anything," he said. "You can keep doing the things you want to do with the comfort level that works for you. The only thing I suggest is that you please don't wait until you've been inactive due to the pain for months and lose your fitness and your positive outlook to get the surgery. Being strong and positive will be critical for you to do well. Keep that in mind!"

He said running is not the best choice. Rowing is fine. Cycling, elliptical, pretty much anything except running...but he's not going to tell me to not run. "You'll know if it hurts too much...you can't make the condition worse," is what he basically said.

Based on my x-ray, he had wanted to put me on his surgery schedule immediately, but after talking with me he feels that would definitely be premature.

"Radiologically, you're a mess. Clinically, you're amazing. I can't say when you will need the replacement...or when you'll want it. But when that time comes, I'm here."

And we wished each other a nice day.

So now I begin setting up appointments to talk with various providers about treatments to help keep me strong. Physical therapist, chiropractor, acupuncturist, naturopath...I'm building an team.

If anyone has dealt with this and has some great ideas for me, please let me know in a comment or email!

Many thanks to RockStarTri and The Unexpected Runner for all your advice and willingness to share your insights. And many thanks to all of you, my generous and thoughtful readers, for your kind words and enthusiasm for my journey yet-to-come!

Anyone have personal experience with prolotherapy?
–this treatment option has me intrigued...

Here's where it gets not-so-pretty...

I was really hoping 2013 would be a kinder, gentler year to me. Last year really ran me through the wringer in so many ways, and I was really looking forward to a little respite.

But if it were easy, there would be nothing to TAKE ON, XL!

Right.

*sigh*

Okay.

Fine.

After I spend a little bit of time wallowing in self-pity and grieving whatever the hell I'm grieving, I will get started Taking It On...because yes, that is what I do. But sometimes I'm just really super tired of taking it on.

Yesterday, I received the write-up on my x-ray...

Moderate to severe osteoarthritis of the right hip.

On the one hand, YAY! A diagnosis! On the other hand, holy s*it...conventional medicine says there's nothing you can do to heal it. You can 'manage' it...manage the pain...mask the symptoms...cut it out and put a piece of metal and plastic in there that will need to be replaced again in 10 years and isn't made to fit a small woman's physique and doesn't treat whatever the heck led to this whole crappy situation in the first place. You can shoot cortisone in there that will further erode any cartilage that still exists in that thar hip socket.

Ummmm...no thanks. None of those really appeal to me. Conventional medicine in this moment isn't really appealing to me :P

Oh, and honey...running is probably the worst thing you can do. Oh, you say you've been thinking of rowing again? Think again because that deep compression at the catch? Yeah, probably going to really screw you up even more.

You can go for a walk. 

Or swim.

You all know how I feel about swimming, right?

Regardless of what you do, sweetheart, you are on a one-way trip to losing the hip.

So I'm sitting here, staring at my little screen and thinking...

What in the heck am I going to do now?

And my answer today is...

I have no idea.

:(

I'm hoping some of you stick around to see how this turns out. But it might really suck. One thing I can say with certainty is this... for awhile at least there won't be much running talk. So if that's why you come here, yeah...probably other more interesting places to hang out ;-)

Of course, I am one to buck trends and piss people off so this journey will probably be entertaining to watch.

Maybe I could get some network to fund a reality show?