I'm taking my blinders off now. I'm owning my injuredness. I will not be racing this weekend. No real boo-hoos about it. It's the right and best and most comfortable decision. I feel renewed now that I've made it. And deciding to switch from the Oakland Running Festival half-marathon in March to the 5K (or maybe nothing) added hugely to my sense of relief and reinvigoration.
What led me to this place? Have I been hurting more lately? What gives, XL?
Feeling as busted up as my favorite shades...
thanks, G and Miss C :P
Here's the deal...
I started running again a little over two years ago. I stepped things up too fast. My right hip was always in a state of crisis...hanging on from run to run. There would be good times and rough times, but it never really felt strong and solid and good. Part of me believed that this was as good as it was going to get. Just take what I can. Live with the discomfort.
That all changed when I started seeing a new body work person last month. And a new trainer...also last month. Their work is showing me that I can possibly someday be pain-free. Truly pain-free. So that is my goal. There is no time goal attached to it. There is not a deadline by which it must be achieved. When I can hop on my right foot repeatedly without wincing or crumpling in pain, we'll know we're there :) I'm not hurting more lately. In fact, it's the opposite. But it does hurt. Running isn't going to make it better, and I now feel like I have a real path to wellness. And I will endeavor to follow it without wavering. Keeping my eye on the feel-good prize.
As a runner with a blog, this is the best example I can set, and as a mom as well. Listening to and hearing my body. Taking good care of myself. Being honest with myself. Making the hard decisions.
So here's what I'm doing instead...
I'm still on the elliptical and riding my bike. I'm lifting weights and doing some circuit strength stuff.
And I'm walking around with my family and enjoying our beautiful weather in our beautiful part of the country...
...and
learning that
not every puzzle
can be solved...
...and that's okay.
I'm looking at reflections on top of shadows
and seeing my little people
through eyes that are not clouded with pain.
At all.
For the first time in a long, long time.
Whatever happens,
I know it will all be worth the wait.
EXCELLENT example. It's always hard to practice what you preach, but you are doing a great job of it. You will be rewarded with pain free runs soon my friend <3
ReplyDeleteYou are smart. And definitely a good example to those around you.
ReplyDeleteThat is a bummer that you are not running anymore. I hope you are back to running soon pain free. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever be pain free too. I think my issue is more minor than yours (left knee clicking). I think my issue can be solved with simple strength training and more glute strength.
ReplyDeleteOne positive about being injured is that you don't have to fork over ridiculous race fees - just registered for Bay to Breakers, and it cost $81 total after you add in the bus from the finish line, and mailing the race packet. But I gotta do that race, I gotta keep my 10 year streak alive!
You are doing an amazing job listening to your body and taking care of yourself. Good luck to you and I can't wait to hear about many pain free runs (and days!) in the near future .. :-)
ReplyDeletePoo. Sorry. I feel so bad for you. I always feel torn between the part of me that says DON'T RUN! and the part that says DO IT you're "healing"! Like the angel and devil. I think you're being smart, though. I need to follow your lead. Here is to fast healing and better days ahead!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry that the injury bug is invading you. Wise decision--proud of you for listening to your body!
ReplyDeleteIt's all a matter of patience!!
ReplyDeleteCome to Colorado and we can be patient together!!! :)
Good for you!! This takes so much wisdom to do! :)
ReplyDeleteBeautiful perspective. Love this Marjorie. Not that you are injured but that you are healing and allowing yourself to be right where you are.
ReplyDeleteThe long perspective is key here. Good for you for making the tough decisions... hope there's plenty of pain-free days in your future (running or no).
ReplyDeleteYes, patience is the virtue of life! You are doing the right thing, hang in there and all the best!
ReplyDeleteTOTALLY the right decision, how wonderful not to be in pain! And cycling gives the same buzz as a run!!! Keep mending! Sorry you won't be running Oakland especially.
ReplyDeleteyou are way smarter than me...and wiser...and I admire you for making the right and possibly difficult choice. good for you my friend. wishing you endless days of pain free!
ReplyDeleteLovely post. Thinking of you as you continue to find your way to a better place.
ReplyDeleteteach me your patience, oh wise one. i'm doing my best to do the same-but i am sucking at it. luckily my new job is keeping me very busy...hoping we both heal soon. xo.
ReplyDeleteVery nice post! You really have a great patience.
ReplyDeleteYou are really a good person!
ReplyDelete