I've written about shooting the moon... the "go big or go home"... going all in or not going at all... and set myself a lofty goal for my next race.
That's great.
I probably should get ready to run it :P And maybe find a hotel for that overnight so's I don't need to sleep on a bench! I took my first step in the right direction in terms of training last Sunday with my solid 12-mile run. And today I bought my plane tickets so I can actually get there!
I had been dragging my feet on these preparations because I am having a hard time believing in myself.
Surprised?
Don't be.
When I am prepped, I am solid with myself. When my prep work has been even somewhat sketchy, I begin to falter. Or rather when I am not seeing evidence of prep work my confidence plummets.
Last night I was just going to try to run 5 or maybe 6, if I felt okay out there. The whole lead-up was beyond annoying. The kids were just on my very last nerve from about the middle of dinner on. My tension had skyrocketed and I was thoroughly pissed that they had ruined my night and now I couldn't run and so I wouldn't even be remotely ready for this stupid half-marathon that I didn't even have a way to get to or a place to stay which was totally fine because I wasn't really going to be able to run in it anyway since I just suck so bad.
Whew... that was quite the run-on sentence... and that is exactly how I felt. Out of control and going down.
I finally headed out to run at quarter to 9. Pissed off. Tense. Utterly defeated.
And I rocked my run.
When I started off, all the whiny voices in my head were messing with me... so I turned up the iPod. I somehow got into a nice, easy groove, and halfway through my first 0.75-mile lap, I decided it was Progression Run Night :) I wanted to try to hit the paces that I set up for my race plan. I had no Garmin on... so it had to be by feel and just the watch.
As close to the money as I think I can get....
Lap 1.....................9:43 pace........................ 9:43 elapsed time.................0.75 mi
Lap 2.....................9:20 pace........................ 14:16 e.t...............................1.5 mi
Lap 3.....................9:20 pace........................ 21:15 e.t...............................2.25 mi
Lap 4.....................9:06 pace.........................28:05 e.t...............................3.0 mi
Lap 5.....................9:06 pace.........................34:53 e.t...............................3.75 mi
Lap 6.....................8:29 pace.........................41:15 e.t...............................4.5 mi
Lap 7.....................7:45 pace.........................47:04 e.t...............................5.25 mi
Last wanderings...~10:00 pace avg................1:00.20 e.t..............................6.5 mi
Average pace for 6.5 miles = 9:17
Belief-in-self Level..... big jump :)
What's hard for me to acknowledge is that it could have very easily gone the other way. And I am so glad it didn't.
What are some things that you do to keep believing in yourself?
What are some of your 'go-to' techniques for pulling yourself up out of an abyss, if you find yourself in one?
That's great.
I probably should get ready to run it :P And maybe find a hotel for that overnight so's I don't need to sleep on a bench! I took my first step in the right direction in terms of training last Sunday with my solid 12-mile run. And today I bought my plane tickets so I can actually get there!
I had been dragging my feet on these preparations because I am having a hard time believing in myself.
Surprised?
Don't be.
When I am prepped, I am solid with myself. When my prep work has been even somewhat sketchy, I begin to falter. Or rather when I am not seeing evidence of prep work my confidence plummets.
Last night I was just going to try to run 5 or maybe 6, if I felt okay out there. The whole lead-up was beyond annoying. The kids were just on my very last nerve from about the middle of dinner on. My tension had skyrocketed and I was thoroughly pissed that they had ruined my night and now I couldn't run and so I wouldn't even be remotely ready for this stupid half-marathon that I didn't even have a way to get to or a place to stay which was totally fine because I wasn't really going to be able to run in it anyway since I just suck so bad.
Whew... that was quite the run-on sentence... and that is exactly how I felt. Out of control and going down.
I finally headed out to run at quarter to 9. Pissed off. Tense. Utterly defeated.
And I rocked my run.
When I started off, all the whiny voices in my head were messing with me... so I turned up the iPod. I somehow got into a nice, easy groove, and halfway through my first 0.75-mile lap, I decided it was Progression Run Night :) I wanted to try to hit the paces that I set up for my race plan. I had no Garmin on... so it had to be by feel and just the watch.
As close to the money as I think I can get....
Lap 1.....................9:43 pace........................ 9:43 elapsed time.................0.75 mi
Lap 2.....................9:20 pace........................ 14:16 e.t...............................1.5 mi
Lap 3.....................9:20 pace........................ 21:15 e.t...............................2.25 mi
Lap 4.....................9:06 pace.........................28:05 e.t...............................3.0 mi
Lap 5.....................9:06 pace.........................34:53 e.t...............................3.75 mi
Lap 6.....................8:29 pace.........................41:15 e.t...............................4.5 mi
Lap 7.....................7:45 pace.........................47:04 e.t...............................5.25 mi
Last wanderings...~10:00 pace avg................1:00.20 e.t..............................6.5 mi
Average pace for 6.5 miles = 9:17
Belief-in-self Level..... big jump :)
What's hard for me to acknowledge is that it could have very easily gone the other way. And I am so glad it didn't.
What are some things that you do to keep believing in yourself?
What are some of your 'go-to' techniques for pulling yourself up out of an abyss, if you find yourself in one?
Nice job and yay for a boost in self confidence! I like to do a sprint workout to boost my self confidence. I love the feel of speed!
ReplyDeleteSo interesting to see how things FUEL us as runners. And how emotions can effect our training and racing.
ReplyDeleteI like to save letters and re-read comments that are motivational to help me get past the negative thoughts. I can really see the usefulness of a good coach sometimes!
You are doing GREAT in your training. Just keep having those wild kid days :) and have your ipod ready!
yay! I like reading this!! You deserve to BELIEVE in you!!!!
ReplyDeleteI often picture fond memories of living in a van for 30 hours with some amazing women and realize that was brought me by running. Also, though high maternity tights help!
Yay, great work!
ReplyDeleteThinking back on really good runs & re-reading your posts about them can be really helpful on bad days. :)
Hot diggity damn! Want me to call you & piss you off right before your race? :)
ReplyDeleteAwesome job! My fastest miles are always in the middle. Fantastic that you were hitting faster paces with each mile.
ReplyDeleteLooking back at what I've accomplished helps me to believe in myself. And giving myself permission to go out there and suck, if that's how it's going to be, rather than stay home helps me drag myself out when all I want to do is hide my head under the covers. Like now.
Great run! Especially after being ticked off and getting out later than you wanted. Now use that and build on it. Think back to that run and remember how great you can be when you put it all together.
ReplyDeleteI think runningwise, a pace that sounds hard but feels easy is the way I feel ready.
ReplyDeleteMentally, I need to be rested. Racing takes a lot out of me, so it's important to have a lot to give.
YOU ARE GOING TO BE AWESOME!!!
Good music and a silly dance. Or serious dance. One song, and I am feeling back to my old self or even better! I know its not running related, but you get the idea :)
ReplyDeleteNothing like kids to build up some tension! :) Great run though!
ReplyDeleteYou are awesome and amazing and I totally admire you. You BETTER BELIEVE in youself!
ReplyDeleteI go to the club even when I'm tired if it's a day to do so. No competition so I always feel good about myself. Just for being there. Learning a new skill makes me feel great too, also making something creatively.
ReplyDelete