16 January 2011

The Double-Diaper Run... fun...

Did you know that running beside a bay when it is low tide is like running with a fully loaded baby's diaper strapped over your face like a surgical mask?  Stifling.  Disgusting.  So glad it wasn't hot as well or I probably would have died vomited fainted.

So.... no.... the Big Hill Run didn't happen today :(  Too many family things squeezed that puppy right out of the schedule.  The hilly place is about a 20-30 min drive each way and some kids had soccer this morning and we needed to do some paperwork (like, needed) together and my husband had afternoon/evening plans and, well, we didn't get up early enough *that's the lame part*.  I would have done it by myself, but it is in a somewhat remote location and I am not entirely sure how safe it is to go to the end of the trail alone.  I was planning on having my bicycling family circus accompany me :)  But we slacked.

Instead I ran 7 miles next to the bay, which is a 2-minute walk from the front door.  It is where I always go *sigh* when I am not running loops inside The Gate *sigh*.  It is where I raced the drunken bum.  I need some variety.  I need some real life running buddies!  However, had I run the hilly run I would not know first-hand about the whole diaper-surgical mask thing.  Putting a positive twist on it... a learning moment ;-)  Need to start checking the tide charts.

I had to pee

And being an older mom of four kids makes that potentially very problematic.  Add to the scenario that it's a very exposed trail... and paralleling a major highway and next to Costco and a very popular dog park. It was a little tense here and there, touch and go, no... no... no... whew! no major catastrophe.  But close.  A diaper would have come in handy.

When I walked in the door after my 6.8 miles (after looking at googlemaps I saw that I had miscalculated... but I am checking my OCD at the door and feeling great about my 6.8-instead-of-7 miles) I was greeted by a man who recoiled and did the p.u. stinky wave thing in front of his face.  Yes, I have some vicious pit-stank.  It is not like normal b.o., it is like cat pee... or sort of like Nikes that you have worn while running in wet grass.  You know you want to run with me now!  And I am wondering why I can't find a real life running buddy?

Well, I fixed his wagon... let me tell you!  I made a bee-line for the potty... and didn't have time to close the door.  Not only do my pits stank, but apparently so does my ...

Nothing like a morning run ;-)


  1. Hah! This is a very funny post, I can only imagine the smell!
    I have having to pee while I'm running- I normally just duck off into the woods because I live in east bum f**k and nobody notices me peeing behind a tree...
    I'd be your running buddy if I didn't live on the other side of the world- and I would not notice your smelly pits. Well, maybe I would but I wouldn't comment on them because I'm too polite!

  2. Hillarious - I have the same problems :)

  3. 6.8, great! but I know 7 would have felt better, I'm a little ocd about that too-
    I need a running buddy too

  4. Well old egg lady, you may smell like cat pee-armpit stank, but at least you look damn good as you knock people out with your funk :)

    Wait a minute...are you really just trying to compete with the drunken bum for odorifickness?

  5. Ha! Nothing like a morning run, indeed!!! And I hear ya about the low tide thing...pee-eeew!

  6. haha! I lived on MacDill AFB and it's right on Tampa bay.. It was awful!! If my kids played outside the stunk!!!!!!! I hear ya on the pee thing.. :)

  7. I had to come back to tell you I've thought about your post today 87.3 times today, and chuckled EVERY time. And I sniffed my pitts to make sure *I* didn't smell like cat pee after my run :)


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