02 August 2011

Smokin' Hot

The

was recently presented to me by Selena, 
who blogs extremely candidly about motherhood over at 

She has placed the requirement of sharing 7 deep things about myself as one of the conditions of claiming my award. We all know I love to share... and going deep connotes oversharing... so you know I'm in :)

Here goes...

1. Let's cut to the chase and pull out the big guns...

I have a gigantic tonsil. It is like a golf ball deep in the back of my throat. HUGE. Just on the left. I'd post a picture but you would all throw up.

2. After winning the most amazing race of my entire life... beyond exciting... took "thrilling" to a whole new level... we were awarded these really weird hats...

I'm pretending this is also my Vecchio Venerdì photo for last week.

They were blue and green and considered very special by the Canadians. I lost mine before we even left Canada. I have no idea where it went. (maybe I left it on the dock) A very memorable memento and it is just gone. I do still have the medal, though :)

3. I wish I had a good and fun and affectionate relationship with my own mom, but I don't. I know she would like this, too. But... she doesn't understand me and has a very 'down' view on a lot of things. I find myself not sharing things with her because coping with her 'process' takes over the share. Consequently, she doesn't know very much about me... which I am sure contributes to her not understanding me. This strained relationship leaves me with many doubts about my own parenting skills.

In fact, I was truly scared to have my daughters.

4. It is really hard to live in a house I do not like. I like the fact that the neighborhood is safe for the kids and for running/biking at night and not getting broken into... but the house itself... blah. And in all honestly, except for the safety factor and being right near the water... well, it is a slippery slope I am going down by even bringing this up. I cannot stand this house and if I think about it, I get really depressed about it. So I focus on the safety and the cleanliness of the neighborhood and the happiness that exists within its wals and not the layout, construction ...

or pink carpet.

5. Even though I tend to be able to separate my current athletic self

from my past athletic self,

sometimes the passage of time hits me like a ton of bricks and I get super bummed... so bummed that I want to curl up in a ball and cry and just give up completely. This usually passes pretty quickly, but when I am in it I am overwhelmed and useless.

6. When I think back on how I handled some things in the past, I am flattened by feelings of guilt and stupidity. This is all in relation to a very particular and related set of situations. And even though making those different choices would mean not having married my husband or having my children, sometimes I wish fervently that I had gone the other way with regard to this. Therapy has helped lessen the frequency and strength of these feelings.

7. I can make a joke about anything... even when it's really inappropriate. This is a problem and not a gift :( ....  Nonetheless, I keep on trying to force that square peg into that round hole... 'cuz that's how I roll :)

The other condition of claiming this award is passing it along to 7 other bloggers. I just nailed so many bloggers with that Q & A thing, so I feel a little awkward hitting up 7 more people... but I'm doing it anyway ;-)

And I am getting really close to 400 followers. Woo hooo. That's a big deal, right?

When I hit 404, I am going to have a giveaway... it'll be a good one... you could win your very own copy of the Hood to Coast Movie. Even if you aren't a runner, this is a very interesting, engaging and entertaining film (clicking the title takes you to the L.A. Times review). It'll practically make your body levitate off the couch and propel itself without forethought out the door and down the road to fitness and fun!

Sound good?


19 comments:

  1. On behalf of all Canadians, I apologize for the hat. Please tell me that it can be attributed to the time period or that it's a tradition 'cuz that thing is fugly.

    I, too, joke at inappropriate times. Mainly as a way to relieve/deal with the stress of the situation. It's a family trait. Seriously, if you can't laugh at a funeral, where can you laugh?

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  2. sounds great. I loved the movie and Bill loved it too. I MADE him come see it with me because well it played on 1-11-11 and that happened to be my bday so he did not have choice!

    ok this is really interesting...
    on #3...mine is not as strained as what you describe but I cannot say we are close. a little more now that I am a mother but before that not at all. I found we had nothing in commun. I am all like my dad. I know that makes her sad. I was always petrified to have girls because I did not want to repeat this cycle. It is not terrible but it is not GREAT. It could be worst, Bill's mom has not talked to her kids in over 6 yrs and she has never met our kids!

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  3. A lot of people don't know this but the original goofy hat was invented in Kitchener, Ontario by Claude Perkins, the master hat maker for the hat making firm Hugo S. Maas & Sons on February 17, 1865. And since that day, Canada has had a long standing tradition with them. Maybe it didn't want to leave the country.

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  4. Ok I love this post. I'm not a mom (as you know) but it's really nice to hear someone not give the same canned response about their life "I married my best friend, love my children, and don't regret anything because it made me the person I am today". Not sayin' you don't feel those things, but it's nice to hear feelings beyond that!

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  5. PS: Is 404 in honor of a that bad link error number?

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  6. Thank you so much for the award! I will get to posting it...sometime within...the next few weeks. :/

    Sorry, I didn't mean to be a tease about deleting the post I recently published. I was just getting rude remarks about it, and I wasn't pleased with it, so I just thought it'd be better to delete altogether!

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  7. I feel you about the "mother" thing. And, I second the "scared to have daughters" bit.

    Your honesty is refreshing though! Thanks for sharing, and don't get down on yourself... YOU ROCK!

    Gillian from Baby Talk without the Babble

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  8. What don't you like about your house?

    My mom and I are way closer now that we are older but when I was growing up we had a very strained relationship. This makes me extra sensitive to how I relate with my oldest (who is just like me).

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  9. I kept seeing your name all over other blogs, so I had to come track you down! Thus far, loving it :)

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  10. 1. I have oversized tonsils. NO one knows why.

    2. I was cried for 3 days when I found out I was having a girl because I felt totally unequipped to deal with her teenage years.

    3. I have the opposite house problem. We bought a foreclosure because it was cheap and fixed it up exactly how we wanted it. Then we moved in and decided we HATE the neighborhood. It's more ghetto than it appears at first glance, and there has been this spike in crime in the last few months involving the neighbors that moved in directly behind us. The grass is always greener, right?

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  11. Uh you know you have to post a photo of that tonsil now right??

    I don't have much of a relationship with my mom either. She as not a real mom as a child. frankly it's harder on me than her and yes it made/makes me worry about me with my girls.

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  12. Very candid post. I enjoy reading your blog very much!

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  13. Congratulations! I am a new follower from the blogging love hop! - Moose and Tater

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  14. Congrats on the award! I loved what you shared and how honest you are about it all. As for the joking at inappropriate times, we all have our moments. I have made many a joke at times when they were not taken well. No one is perfect.

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  15. Great list. I'm still avoiding making mine. I love that you make jokes at completely inappropriate times - good to know I'm not alone.

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  16. My mom and I get along well, but she really doesn't get me at all. She's more doing her own thing, which I guess is semi-natural after spending much of your adult life raising kids, but she doesn't really HAVE her own thing, other than a rare talent for unhappiness. It wears me out and makes me sad for her.

    I'm with you on your #6. Changing some of my decisions would wish away some of the most important people in my life, but I sure wish I could've come about them in some other way.

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  17. I could relate to #3 -- I don't have the best relationship with my mother at all (though I know we'd both like different it just won't be) and when I was pregnant the both times I wished desperately for a boy. Well my second born and little girl is now 15 and is wonderful and our relationship is fantastic. The absolute best thing happened when we were in SD last weekend for my son along with a bunch of our family members including my mom. After witnessing a day of me being very stressed at a variety of mother induced incidences, my daughter says to me 'I hope you don't take offense but I am so glad I have a better relationship with you than you have with your mom.'

    Offense? offense? Oh my goodness -- the heavens opened up and I swear I heard the Hallelujah Chorus. I just gave her a hug and told her I was very thankful we have a good relationship and I'd do everything in my power to keep it that way!!

    That picture of your daughters is absolutely beautiful by the way.

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  18. Thanks for tagging me! I'll try to generate a good list :) I too, have a difficult relationship with my mom and often second guess my parenting strategies as a result. I love reading your blog.

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  19. That was such a deep post--thanks for sharing such real thoughts and feelings with us at Rub Some Dirt On It. And thanks for the award!! I am very grateful for you and your blog in my life :)

    Also, you are doing a great job with your daughters. Sometimes coming from a less-than-perfect situation helps you create an even more perfect situation of your own. I should know ;)

    Oh, and I also hate my house!

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